25.2 阮袂使有啥歹名聲

25.2 Goán bē-sái ū siáⁿ pháiⁿ miâ-siaⁿ

Koh-lâi, i án-ne kă kóng:

"Án-ne, hu-jîn, góa bē-sái iōng chí-chek a̍h-sī ui-hia̍p, tio̍h iōng chhéng-kiû, góa tio̍h chīn-le̍k tī lí chia tit-tio̍h pí lí í-keng ūi goán kiáⁿ chò-chhut ê koh khah tōa ê hi-seng."

Chit ê khai-sí hō͘ góa ka-lún-sún.

Lín lāu-pē kiâⁿ kīn góa, khan góa ê siang-chhiú, kè-sio̍k iōng kám-sèng ê siaⁿ-im kóng:

"Góa ê koai gín-á, m̄-thang gō͘-kái góa tit-boeh kā lí kóng ê ōe; lí ài ē-kì-tit, seng-oa̍h tiong ū-sî su-iàu tùi sim-koaⁿ chân-jím, m̄-koh mā-tio̍h jím-siū. Lí chin siān-liông, lí ê lêng-hûn ū chin chē cha-bó͘ só͘ bô ê khoan-iông, hiah-ê cha-bó͘ hoān-sè khòaⁿ lí bô, m̄-koh in ê kè-ta̍t tòe lí bē-tio̍h. M̄-koh ài ē-kì-tit, m̄-nā chêng-hū, iáu ū ka-têng; tî-liáu ài-chêng, iáu ū chek-jīm; chhiong-móa kek-chêng ê nî-lêng í-āu, tī koh lâi ê hit ê nî-lêng, chi̍t ê cha-po͘-lâng nā boeh hō͘ lâng chun-kèng, tio̍h su-iàu ka-tī kiàn-li̍p chi̍t ê ún-kò͘ ê tē-ūi. Goán kiáⁿ pēng bô ke-hóe, m̄-koh i chún-pī boeh hòng-khì in lāu-bú lâu hō͘ i ê ûi-sán. Jû-kó i chiap-siū lí chiong boeh chò-chhut ê hi-seng, ūi-tio̍h êng-ū kap chū-chun, i ē kā chit pit ûi-sán ê nî-kim choán hō͘ lí chò-ûi pò-tap, hō͘ lí ê seng-oa̍h bē koh ū khùun-khó͘ ê gûi-hiám. M̄-koh i bē-sái chiap-siū lí ê hi-seng, in-ūi siā-hōe bô liáu-kái lí, siā-hōe ē gō͘-kái chit-chióng chiap-siū, chit-chióng gō͘-kái ē phah-pháiⁿ goán ê mn̂g-hong. Bô-lâng ē koan-sim Armand sī-m̄-sī ài lí, lí sī-m̄-sī ài i, m̄-koán lín nn̄g-lâng tiong-kan ê ài-chêng sī-m̄-sī hō͘ i hēng-hok, sī-m̄-sī koan-hē tio̍h lí ê tiông-sin chò-lâng; in kan-ta ē khòaⁿ tio̍h chi̍t-hāng tāi-chì, iā tō sī, Armand Duval kèng-jiân ín-chún chi̍t ê thàn-chia̍h cha-bó͘ ūi tio̍h i lâi bē só͘-ū ê ke-hóe. (Pháiⁿ-sè, góa ê koai gín-á, góa iōng chit-chióng jī-gán lâi kóng lí.) Án-ne chóng ū chi̍t kang, tō ē hō͘-siong bâi-oàn, hō͘-siong hoán-hóe, tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē án-ne, m̄-koán sī lín a̍h-sī pa̍t-lâng lóng sī án-ne, nā án-ne, lín tō pa̍k tio̍h chi̍t tiâu éng-oán pak bē-tiāu ê só-liān. Kàu-sî lín boeh án-chóaⁿ? Lí ê chheng-chhun í-keng o͘-iú, goán kiáⁿ ê bī-lâi mā húi-bia̍t; góa, i ê lāu-pē, kan-ta ē-tàng tit-tio̍h chi̍t ê gín-á ê hàu-sūn, goân-pún góa kiò-sī ū nn̄g ê.

"Lí siàu-liân koh súi, seng-oa̍h ē an-ùi lí; lí chin ko-kùi, chò chi̍t kiāⁿ hó sū só͘ lâu hō͘ lí ê kì-tî tō ē-tàng pó͘-sióng kòe-khì ê kòe-chhò. Armand bat lí chit la̍k kò goe̍h í-lâi, í-keng kā góa pàng bē-kì. Góa siá phe hō͘ i la̍k pái, i lóng bô hôe-phe. Khó-lêng góa sí ah, i mā m̄-chai!

"M̄-koán lí án-chóaⁿ koat-sim boeh kòe kap í-chêng bô kāng-khoán ê seng-oa̍h, Armand hiah-nī ài lí, mā bē tông-ì in-ūi i chhiú-thâu-ân lâi hō͘ lí chia̍h-khó͘, koh-kóng lí seⁿ-chò hiah súi, mā bô eng-kai chia̍h-khó͘. Kàu-sî siáng chai i ē án-chóaⁿ chò! Góa chai, i ē poa̍h-kiáu; góa mā chai, che i m̄-bat kā lí kóng, m̄-koh chí-iàu chi̍t-sî ê chhóng-pōng, i khó-lêng tō ē kā góa só͘ khiām ê phoa̍h su chi̍t pō͘-hūn khì, che sī kúi-nā nî lâi góa boeh khiām hō͘ cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ, hō͘ Armand, kap hō͘ góa lāu-nî ê an-ióng. Chit-chióng tāi-chì kóng hoat-seng tō ē hoat-seng.

"Koh-kóng, lí kám ū khak-tēng lí só͘ hòng-khì ê hit-chióng seng-oa̍h tō bē koh khip-ín lí? Lí kám ū khak-tēng, lí ài i tō bē koh khì ài tio̍h pa̍t-lâng? Khòaⁿ tio̍h lí ê ài chó͘-gāi tio̍h lí só͘ ài ê lâng, lí kám bē kan-khó͘? Chit-chióng chó͘-gāi sī in-ūi nî-kí cheng-ka, sū-gia̍p sim ē chhiau-kòe ài-chêng ê bí-bāng, lí tō ē bô hoat-tō͘ koh an-ùi tio̍h i. Hu-jîn ah, chiah-ê lí lóng su-khó khòaⁿ-māi. Lí ài Armand; taⁿ tio̍h iōng lí ûi-it ê, iáu-bōe chèng-bêng hō͘ khòaⁿ ê hong-hoat, lâi chèng-bêng lí tùi i ê ài-chêng, its [iā tō sī] ūi-tio̍h i ê chiân-tô͘, hi-seng lí ê ài-chêng. Kàu taⁿ iáu bô hoat-seng siáⁿ-mih put-hēng, m̄-koh chóng-sī ē chhut-hiān, hoān-sè ē pí góa só͘ liāu-sióng ê koh khah giâm-tiōng. Armand ū khó-lêng in-ūi pa̍t-lâng ài lí, soah chia̍h-chhò͘, khì thiáu-chiàn, khì tùi-tak, khì hông thâi-sí. Siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, kàu-sî chi̍t ê lāu-pē lâi kàu lí bīn-chêng, kóng lí tio̍h thè in kiáⁿ ê miā chò kái-soeh, lí ē gōa-nī kan-khó͘!

Chóng--sī, góa ê koai gín-á, hō͘ góa kóng liáu, góa iáu-bōe kóng-liáu, góa kā lí kóng, sī án-chóaⁿ góa cháu lâi Paris. Góa ū chi̍t ê cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ, che góa tú-chiah ū kóng-kòe, i siàu-liân koh súi, sûn-kiat ná thiⁿ-sài. I ū i ê ài-chêng, mā kā ài-chêng tòng-chò sèⁿ-miā ê bí-bāng. Góa siá-phe kā Armand kóng che, in-ūi bê tio̍h lí, i lóng bô hôe-phe. Hm, goán cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ tit-boeh kiat-hun, boeh kè hō͘ i só͘ ài ê lâng; i boeh kè hia ū hó mn̂g-hong, in mā iau-kiû goán bē-sái ū siáⁿ pháiⁿ miâ-siaⁿ. Goán bī-lâi kiáⁿ-sài in tau thiaⁿ lâng kóng Armand tī Paris ê seng-oa̍h hong-sek, soah kă kóng, Armand nā koh kè-sio̍k kòe chit-chióng seng-oa̍h, hun-iok tio̍h ài kái-tî. Góa chit ê cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ m̄-bat tek-sit tio̍h lí, i mā ū khoân-lī ǹg-bāng hēng-hok ê chiong-lâi, taⁿ i ê miā-ūn sī khǹg tī lí ê chhiú nih. Lí kám ū khoân-lī, kám ū khùi-la̍t lâi kā phah-phòa? Khòaⁿ tī lí tùi Armand ê ài, kap lí tùi kòe-khì ê chhàm-hóe, Marguerite, chhiaⁿ lí kā goán cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ ê hēng-hok hêng hō͘ góa lah.

--

25.2 阮袂使有啥歹名聲

閣來, 伊 án-ne kă 講:

"Án-ne, 夫人, 我 bē-sái 用指責抑是威脅, 著用請求, 我著盡力 tī 你遮得著比你已經為阮囝做出 ê 閣較大 ê 犧牲."

這个開始予我 ka-lún-sún.

恁老爸行近我, 牽我 ê 雙手, 繼續用感性 ê 聲音講:

"我 ê 乖囡仔, 毋通誤解我得欲 kā 你講 ê 話; 你愛會記得, 生活中有時需要對心肝殘忍, 毋過 mā 著忍受. 你真善良, 你 ê 靈魂有真濟查某所無 ê 寬容, hiah-ê 查某凡勢看你無, 毋過 in ê 價值綴你袂著. 毋過愛會記得, 毋但情婦, 猶有家庭; 除了愛情, 猶有責任; 充滿激情 ê 年齡以後, tī koh 來 ê 彼个年齡, 一个查埔人 nā 欲予人尊敬, 著需要家己建立一个穩固 ê 地位. 阮囝並無家伙, 毋過伊準備欲放棄 in 老母留予伊 ê 遺產. 如果伊接受你將欲做出 ê 犧牲, 為著榮譽 kap 自尊, 伊會 kā 這筆遺產 ê 年金轉予你做為報答, 予你 ê 生活袂 koh 有困苦 ê 危險. 毋過伊袂使接受你 ê 犧牲, 因為社會無了解你, 社會會誤解這種接受, 這種誤解會拍歹阮 ê 門風. 無人會關心 Armand 是毋是愛你, 你是毋是愛伊, 毋管恁兩人中間 ê 愛情是毋是予伊幸福, 是毋是關係著你 ê 重新做人; in 干焦會看著一項代誌, 也 tō 是, Armand Duval 竟然允准一个趁食查某為著伊來賣所有 ê 家伙. (歹勢, 我 ê 乖囡仔, 我用這種字眼來講你.) Án-ne 總有一工, tō 會互相埋怨, 互相反悔, 定著會 án-ne, 毋管是恁抑是別人攏是 án-ne, nā án-ne, 恁 tō 縛著一條永遠剝袂掉 ê 鎖鍊. 到時恁欲按怎? 你 ê 青春已經烏有, 阮囝 ê 未來 mā 毀滅; 我, 伊 ê 老爸, 干焦會當得著一个囡仔 ê 孝順, 原本我叫是有兩个.

"你少年 koh 媠, 生活會安慰你; 你真高貴, 做一件好事所留予你 ê 記持 tō 會當補償過去 ê 過錯. Armand 捌你這六個月以來, 已經 kā 我放袂記. 我寫批予伊六擺, 伊攏無回批. 可能我死 ah, 伊 mā 毋知!

"毋管你按怎決心欲過 kap 以前無仝款 ê 生活, Armand hiah-nī 愛你, mā 袂同意因為伊手頭絚來予你食苦, 閣講你生做 hiah 媠, mā 無應該食苦. 到時 siáng 知伊會按怎做! 我知, 伊會跋筊; 我 mā 知, 這伊毋 bat kā 你講, 毋過只要一時 ê 衝碰, 伊可能 tō 會 kā 我所儉 ê 跋輸一部分去, 這是幾 nā 年來我欲儉予查某囝, 予 Armand, kap 予我老年 ê 安養. 這種代誌講發生 tō 會發生.

"閣講, 你敢有確定你所放棄 ê 彼種生活 tō 袂 koh 吸引你? 你敢有確定, 你愛伊 tō 袂 koh 去愛著別人? 看著你 ê 愛阻礙著你所愛 ê 人, 你敢袂艱苦? 這種阻礙是因為年紀增加, 事業心會超過愛情 ê 美夢, 你 tō 會無法度 koh 安慰著伊. 夫人 ah, chiah-ê 你攏思考看覓. 你愛 Armand; 今著用你唯一 ê, 猶未證明予看 ê 方法, 來證明你對伊 ê 愛情, its [也 tō 是] 為著伊 ê 前途, 犧牲你 ê 愛情. 到今猶無發生啥物不幸, 毋過總是會出現, 凡勢會比我所料想 ê 閣較嚴重. Armand 有可能因為別人愛你, 煞食醋, 去挑戰, 去對觸, 去 hông 刣死. 想看覓, 到時一个老爸來到你面前, 講你著替 in 囝 ê 命做解說, 你會偌 nī 艱苦!

總是, 我 ê 乖囡仔, 予我講了, 我猶未講了, 我 kā 你講, 是按怎我走來 Paris. 我有一个查某囝, 這我拄才有講過, 伊少年 koh 媠, 純潔 ná 天使. 伊有伊 ê 愛情, mā kā 愛情當做性命 ê 美夢. 我寫批 kā Armand 講這, 因為迷著你, 伊攏無回批. Hm, 阮查某囝得欲結婚, 欲嫁予伊所愛 ê 人; 伊欲嫁遐有好門風, in mā 要求阮袂使有啥歹名聲. 阮未來囝婿 in 兜聽人講 Armand tī Paris ê 生活方式, 煞 kă 講, Armand nā koh 繼續過這種生活, 婚約著愛解除. 我這个查某囝毋捌得失著你, 伊 mā 有權利向望幸福 ê 將來, 今伊 ê 命運是囥 tī 你 ê 手 nih. 你敢有權利, 敢有氣力來 kā 拍破? 看 tī 你對 Armand ê 愛, kap 你對過去 ê 懺悔, Marguerite, 請你 kā 阮查某囝 ê 幸福還予我 lah.

--

25.2

Then he said to me: 

"So, madame, it is not by remonstrances or by threats, but by entreaties, that I must endeavour to obtain from you a greater sacrifice than you have yet made for my son." 

I trembled at this beginning. 

Your father came over to me, took both my hands, and continued in an affectionate voice: 

"My child, do not take what I have to say to you amiss; only remember that there are sometimes in life cruel necessities for the heart, but that they must be submitted to. You are good, your soul has generosity unknown to many women who perhaps despise you, and are less worthy than you. But remember that there is not only the mistress, but the family; that besides love there are duties; that to the age of passion succeeds the age when man, if he is to be respected, must plant himself solidly in a serious position. My son has no fortune, and yet he is ready to abandon to you the legacy of his mother. If he accepted from you the sacrifice which you are on the point of making, his honour and dignity would require him to give you, in exchange for it, this income, which would always put you out of danger of adversity. But he can not accept this sacrifice, because the world, which does not know you, would give a wrong interpretation to this acceptance, and such an interpretation must not tarnish the name which we bear. No one would consider whether Armand loves you, whether you love him, whether this mutual love means happiness to him and redemption to you; they would see only one thing, that Armand Duval allowed a kept woman (forgive me, my child, for what I am forced to say to you) to sell all she had for him. Then the day of reproaches and regrets would arrive, be sure, for you or for others, and you would both bear a chain that you could not sever. What would you do then? Your youth would be lost, my son's future destroyed; and I, his father, should receive from only one of my children the recompense that I look for from both. 

"You are young, beautiful, life will console you; you are noble, and the memory of a good deed will redeem you from many past deeds. During the six months that he has known you Armand has forgotten me. I wrote to him four times, and he has never once replied. I might have died and he not known it! 

"Whatever may be your resolution of living otherwise than as you have lived, Armand, who loves you, will never consent to the seclusion to which his modest fortune would condemn you, and to which your beauty does not entitle you. Who knows what he would do then! He has gambled, I know; without telling you of it, I know also, but, in a moment of madness, he might have lost part of what I have saved, during many years, for my daughter's portion, for him, and for the repose of my old age. What might have happened may yet happen. 

"Are you sure, besides, that the life which you are giving up for him will never again come to attract you? Are you sure, you who have loved him, that you will never love another? Would you not-suffer on seeing the hindrances set by your love to your lover's life, hindrances for which you would be powerless to console him, if, with age, thoughts of ambition should succeed to dreams of love? Think over all that, madame. You love Armand; prove it to him by the sole means which remains to you of yet proving it to him, by sacrificing your love to his future. No misfortune has yet arrived, but one will arrive, and perhaps a greater one than those which I foresee. Armand might become jealous of a man who has loved you; he might provoke him, fight, be killed. Think, then, what you would suffer in the presence of a father who should call on you to render an account for the life of his son! 

"Finally, my dear child, let me tell you all, for I have not yet told you all, let me tell you what has brought me to Paris. I have a daughter, as I have told you, young, beautiful, pure as an angel. She loves, and she, too, has made this love the dream of her life. I wrote all that to Armand, but, absorbed in you, he made no reply. Well, my daughter is about to marry. She is to marry the man whom she loves; she enters an honourable family, which requires that mine has to be no less honourable. The family of the man who is to become my son-in-law has learned what manner of life Armand is leading in Paris, and has declared to me that the marriage must be broken off if Armand continues this life. The future of a child who has done nothing against you, and who has the right of looking forward to a happy future, is in your hands. Have you the right, have you the strength, to shatter it? In the name of your love and of your repentance, Marguerite, grant me the happiness of my child." 

--