19.1 甘願犠牲, 免得愛情變買賣

Tē 19 Chiong

19.1 Kam-goān hi-seng, bián-tit ài-chêng piàn bé-bē

Tī thâu-chêng saⁿ tiuⁿ phe, goán lāu-pē mn̄g góa sī án-chóaⁿ bô siá phe; tī siōng bóe tiuⁿ, i kóng ū thiaⁿ lâng kóng-khí góa ê seng-oa̍h piàn-hòa, thong-ti kóng i boeh lâi khòaⁿ góa.

Góa it-ti̍t lóng chin chun-kèng lāu-pē, kap i ū chhim-chhim ê kám-chêng. Góa hôe-phe kā kóng góa chìn-chêng sī in-ūi khì lí-hêng, koh chhiáⁿ i boeh lâi tio̍h seng thong-ti góa, án-ne góa chiah thang tī chhù kìⁿ tio̍h i.

Góa kā chng-kha ê tē-chí hō͘ iōng-lâng, kiò i nā ū C siâⁿ-chhī lâi ê phe, sûi sàng lâi hō͘ góa, góa tō koh tńg khì Bougival.

Marguerite tī hoe-hn̂g ê mn̄g-kháu tán góa. I bīn iu-iu lia̍h góa khòaⁿ leh, siang-chhiú lám tiâu góa ê ām-kún, mn̂g góa kóng: "Lí ū tú tio̍h Prudence bô?"

"Bô."

"Lí khì Paris ê sî-kan chiâⁿ kú."

"Góa chiap tio̍h goán lāu-pē ê phe, góa tio̍h siá hôe-phe."

Kòe bô kúi hun-cheng, Nanine ji̍p-lâi, chhoán phīⁿ-phēⁿ. Marguerite khiā khí-lâi, kap i sè-siaⁿ kóng-ōe. Tán Nanine koh chhut-khì, Marguerite koh chē tī góa piⁿ-á, khan góa ê chhiú, kóng:

"Sī án-chóaⁿ lí phiàn góa? Lí ū khì khòaⁿ Prudence."

"Siáng kā lí kóng ê?"

"Nanine."

"I ná ē chai?"

"I ū tòe lí khì."

"Lí kiò i kin-chong góa?"

"Tio̍h. Lí í-keng sì kò goe̍h bô lī-khui góa ah, chit-kái khì Paris it-tēng ū tiōng-iàu ê goân-in. Góa khióng-kiaⁿ lí ē ū siáⁿ tāi-chì, nā bô lí tō sī boeh khì khòaⁿ pa̍t ê cha-bó͘."

"Lí ná gín-á!."

"Taⁿ góa an-sim ah. Góa chai lí khì chhòng-siáⁿ, m̄-koh góa m̄-chai Prudence kā lí kóng siáⁿ."

Góa kā goán lāu-pē ê phe hō͘ Marguerit khòaⁿ.

"Góa mn̄g ê m̄-sī che. Góa boeh chai ê sī, lí ná ē khì chhōe Prudence."

"Góa khì khòaⁿ i."

"Lí pe̍h-chha̍t, góa ê pêng-iú."

"Hm, góa khì mn̄g i, lí ê bé-á ū khah hó bô, lí ê moa-kin kap lí ê chu-pó i sī-m̄-sī iáu su-iàu iōng."

Marguerite bīn âng khí-lâi, m̄-koh i bô ìn.

"Chū án-ne," góa koh kóng, "góa chai-iáⁿ lí án-chóaⁿ chhú-lí lí ê bé-á, moa-kin kap chu-pó."

"Lí ū oàn góa bô?"

"Góa oàn, lí lóng bô chhōe góa the̍h, lí só͘ khiàm ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ."

"Chhiūⁿ lán chit-khoán koan-hē, cha-bó͘ ê nā ū jīm-hô chun-giâm, i tiāⁿ-tio̍h kam-goān hi-seng mā bē chhōe chêng-jîn the̍h chîⁿ, bián-tit kā chit-chióng ài piàn-chò bé-bē. Lí chin-sim ài góa, che góa chin khak-tēng, m̄-koh lí m̄-chai, chhiūⁿ góa chit-khoán cha-bó͘ ê ài, sī ná chhiūⁿ iōng thâng-si tiàu tio̍h. Che siáng ē chai neh? Khó-lêng ū chi̍t-kang, lí kám-kak bô-liâu a̍h khùn-jiáu ê sî, lí ē jīn-ûi lán ê koan-hē sī chi̍t ê keng-kòe cheng-sim kè-ōe ê im-bô͘. Prudence chin kāu-ōe. Góa ū bé-á boeh chò siáⁿ iōng? Kā in bē tiāu khah séng hùi-khì. Góa bián iōng in, góa mā bián koh chiàu-kò͘ in. Lí nā ài góa, góa bô koh iau-kiû siáⁿ, bô bé-á, bô moa-kin, bô soān-chio̍h, lí mā lóng kāng-khoán ài góa."

I kóng chiah-ê, chū-chū jiân-jiân, góa ná thiaⁿ ná lâu ba̍k-sái.

"Tān-sī, góa ê koai Marguerite," góa kā ìn, chhim-chêng tēⁿ tio̍h i ê siang-chhiú, "lí chai, chóng ū chi̍t kang góa ē chai-iáⁿ lí ê hi-seng, it-tàn góa hoat-hiān, góa sī bē koh ín-chún."

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第 19 章

19.1 甘願犠牲, 免得愛情變買賣

Tī 頭前三張批, 阮老爸問我是按怎無寫批; tī 上尾張, 伊講有聽人講起我 ê 生活變化, 通知講伊欲來看我.

我一直攏真尊敬老爸, kap 伊有深深 ê 感情. 我回批 kā 講我進前是因為去旅行, koh 請伊欲來著先通知我, án-ne 我才通 tī 厝見著伊.

我 kā 庄跤 ê 地址予用人, 叫伊 nā 有 C 城市來 ê 批, 隨送來予我, 我 tō koh 轉去 Bougival.

Marguerite tī 花園 ê 門口等我. 伊面憂憂掠我看 leh, 雙手攬牢我 ê 頷頸, 問我講: "你有拄著 Prudence 無?"

"無."

"你去 Paris ê 時間誠久."

"我接著阮老爸 ê 批, 我著寫回批."

過無幾分鐘, Nanine 入來, 喘 phīⁿ-phēⁿ. Marguerite 徛起來, kap 伊細聲講話. 等 Nanine koh 出去, Marguerite koh 坐 tī 我邊仔, 牽我 ê 手, 講:

"是按怎你騙我? 你有去看 Prudence."

"Siáng kā 你講 ê?"

"Nanine."

"伊那會知?"

"伊有綴你去."

"你叫伊跟蹤我?"

"著. 你已經四個月無離開我 ah, 這改去 Paris 一定有重要 ê 原因. 我恐驚你會有啥代誌, nā 無, 你 tō 是欲去看別个查某."

"你 ná 囡仔!"

"今我安心 ah. 我知你去創啥, 毋過我毋知 Prudence kā 你講啥."

我 kā 阮老爸 ê 批予 Marguerite 看.

"我問 ê 毋是這. 我欲知 ê 是, 你那會去揣 Prudence."

"我去看伊."

"你白賊, 我 ê 朋友."

"Hm, 我去問伊, 你 ê 馬仔有較好無, 你 ê 幔巾 kap 你 ê 珠寶伊是毋是猶需要用."

Marguerite 面紅起來, 毋過伊無應.

"自 án-ne," 我 koh 講, "我知影你按怎處理你 ê 馬仔, 幔巾 kap 珠寶."

"你有怨我無?"

"我怨, 你攏無揣我提, 你所欠 ê 物件."

"像咱這款關係, 查某 ê nā 有任何尊嚴, 伊定著甘願犧牲 mā 袂揣情人提錢, 免得 kā 這種愛變做買賣. 你真心愛我, 這我真確定, 毋過你毋知, 像我這款查某 ê 愛, 是若像用蟲絲吊著. 這 siáng 會知 neh? 可能有一工, 你感覺無聊抑困擾 ê 時, 你會認為咱 ê 關係是一个經過精心計畫 ê 陰謀. Prudence 真厚話. 我有馬仔欲做啥用? Kā in 賣掉較省費氣. 我免用 in, 我 mā 免 koh 照顧 in. 你 nā 愛我, 我無 koh 要求啥, 無馬仔, 無幔巾, 無璇石, 你 mā 攏仝款愛我."

伊講 chiah-ê, 自自然然, 我 ná 聽 ná 流目屎.

"但是, 我 ê 乖 Marguerite," 我 kā 應, 深情捏著伊 ê 雙手, "你知, 總有一工我會知影你 ê 犧牲, 一旦我發現, 我是袂 koh 允准."

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Chapter 19 

19.1

In his first three letters my father inquired the cause of my silence; in the last he allowed me to see that he had heard of my change of life, and informed me that he was about to come and see me. 

I have always had a great respect and a sincere affection for my father. I replied that I had been travelling for a short time, and begged him to let me know beforehand what day he would arrive, so that I could be there to meet him. 

I gave my servant my address in the country, telling him to bring me the first letter that came with the postmark of C., then I returned to Bougival. 

Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate. She looked at me anxiously. Throwing her arms round my neck, she said to me: "Have you seen Prudence?" 

"No." 

"You were a long time in Paris." 

"I found letters from my father to which I had to reply." 

A few minutes afterward Nanine entered, all out of breath. Marguerite rose and talked with her in whispers. When Nanine had gone out Marguerite sat down by me again and said, taking my hand: 

"Why did you deceive me? You went to see Prudence." 

"Who told you?"

"Nanine."

"And how did she know?" 

"She followed you."

"You told her to follow me?" 

"Yes. I thought that you must have had a very strong motive for going to Paris, after not leaving me for four months. I was afraid that something might happen to you, or that you were perhaps going to see another woman." 

"Child!" 

"Now I am relieved. I know what you have done, but I don't yet know what you have been told." 

I showed Marguerite my father's letters. 

"That is not what I am asking you about. What I want to know is why you went to see Prudence." 

"To see her." 

"That's a lie, my friend." 

"Well, I went to ask her if the horse was any better, and if she wanted your shawl and your jewels any longer." 

Marguerite blushed, but did not answer.

"And," I continued, "I learned what you had done with your horses, shawls, and jewels." 

"And you are vexed?"

"I am vexed that it never occurred to you to ask me for what you were in want of." 

"In a liaison like ours, if the woman has any sense of dignity at all, she ought to make every possible sacrifice rather than ask her lover for money and so give a venal character to her love. You love me, I am sure, but you do not know on how slight a thread depends the love one has for a woman like me. Who knows? Perhaps some day when you were bored or worried you would fancy you saw a carefully concerted plan in our liaison. Prudence is a chatterbox. What need had I of the horses? It was an economy to sell them. I don't use them and I don't spend anything on their keep; if you love me, I ask nothing more, and you will love me just as much without horses, or shawls, or diamonds." 

All that was said so naturally that the tears came to my eyes as I listened. 

"But, my good Marguerite," I replied, pressing her hands lovingly, "you knew that one day I should discover the sacrifice you had made, and that the moment I discovered it I should allow it no longer." 

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