20.2 恁 kā 愛情講了傷膨風

20.2 Lín kā ài-chèng kóng-liáu siuⁿ phòng-hong

"Chhiáⁿ thiaⁿ góa kóng, a-pa, hiah-ê kā lí kóng góa ê tāi-chì ê lâng pēng m̄-chai si̍t-chêng. Góa sī Gautier Sc ê chêng-jîn, góa kap i tông-ki; che tī siā-hōe sī chin chū-jiân ê tāi-chì. Góa pēng bô ūi-tio̍h Gautier Sc phah-pháiⁿ lán ê miâ-siaⁿ; góa ūi i só͘ khai ê chîⁿ sī góa khai ē khí ê; góa mā bô  khiàm lâng chîⁿ; kán-tan kóng, góa ê chōng-hóng m̄-sī chhiūⁿ lí tú-chiah kă kóng án-ne, iáu bô ta̍t-kàu lāu-pē lâi kà-sī kiáⁿ."

"Lāu-pē chóng sī ū khoân kái-kiù kiâⁿ siâ-lō͘ ê kiáⁿ. Lí iáu bōe chō-sêng siong-hāi, m̄-koh lí chá-bān ē chò-chhut siong-hāi."

"A-pa!"

"Sian-siⁿ, góa pí lí khah liáu-kái jîn-seng. Kan-ta cheng-chiat ê cha-bó͘ chiah ē ū sûn-kiat ê kám-chêng. Múi chi̍t-ê Manon lóng ē ū i ka-tī ê Des Grieux, taⁿ sî-tāi bô kāng-khoán ah. Nā bô ùi kòe-khì o̍h-tio̍h kàu-hùn, sè-kài ê chìn-tián tō bô siáⁿ ì-gī. Lí tio̍h lī-khui lí ê chêng-hū."

"Chin pháiⁿ-sè, góa bē thiaⁿ lí ê, a-pa, che góa chò bē kàu."

"Góa ē pek lí chò-kah kàu."

"Pháiⁿ-sè, í-keng bô Sainte Marguerite Tó thang hòng-tio̍k thàn-chia̍h cha-bó͘ ah, nā-chún sǹg ū, lí kā i hòng-tio̍k khì hia, góa tio̍h tòe i khì hia. Án-ne lí tit-tio̍h siáⁿ? Góa ū khó-lêng ū m̄-tio̍h, m̄-koh góa kan-ta tio̍h chò chit-ê cha-bó͘ ê ài-jîn, góa chiah ē khoài-lo̍k."

"Ai-ah, Armand, ba̍k-chiu peh khah kim leh. Lí tio̍h sêng-jīn, góa sī lín lāu-pē teh kap lí kóng-ōe, góa it-ti̍t lóng chin ài lí, góa koan-sim lí ê hēng-hok. Lí khì hām chi̍t-ê í-chêng kap chē-chē lâng khùn-kòe ê cha-bó͘ ná ang-bó͘ án-ne tông-ki, che kám bē chin kiàn-siàu?"

"Nā mài koh kap pa̍t-lâng khùn, a-pa, he ná ū siáⁿ iàu-kín? Chit-ê cha-bó͘ nā ài góa, in-ūi goán nn̄g lâng ê ài-chêng hō͘ i tit-tio̍h choân-sin ê sèⁿ-miā, he ná ū siáⁿ iàu-kín? Taⁿ i í-keng piàn-chò chi̍t ê oân-choân bô-kāng ê cha-bó͘ ah, he ná ū siáⁿ iàu-kín?"

"Nā án-ne, sian-siⁿ, lí sī-m̄-sī siūⁿ-kóng ū sin-hūn ê cha-po͘ ê jīm-bū sī kái-piàn bê-lō͘ ê cha-bó͘? Lí sī-m̄-sī siūⁿ-kóng Sîn hù hō͘ sèⁿ-miā chit-chióng koài-kî ê sú-bēng? Lâng ê sim-koaⁿ kám tio̍h kan-ta ū chit-chióng jia̍t-chêng? Chit-chióng liáu-put-khí ê kiù-chō͘ ū siáⁿ kiat-kó? Tùi lí kin-á-ji̍t kóng ê ōe, kàu sì-cha̍p hòe ê sî lí ē án-chóaⁿ siūⁿ? Lí ē chhiò lí chit-chióng ài-chêng, jû-kó lí iáu chhiò ē chhut-lâi, a̍h-sī i bô lâu hō͘ lí siuⁿ giâm-tiōng ê hûn-jiah. Lín lāu-pē tong-chho͘ nā chhiūⁿ lí án-ne, kā ka-tī ê sèⁿ-miā kau-hō͘ chit-chióng chhóng-pōng, soah bô chhim-chhim tèng-kin tī miâ-siaⁿ kap sìn-iōng, chit-chūn ê lí ē tī tó-ūi ah? Koh siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi leh, Armand, mài koh kóng gōng-ōe ah-lah. Hó lah, lī-khui chit ê cha-bó͘; góa pài-thok lí."

Góa tiām-tiām bô ìn.

"Armand," goán lāu-pē kè-sio̍k kóng, "khòaⁿ chāi lín lāu-bú ê chāi-thian chi lêng, pàng-tiāu chit-chióng seng-oa̍h, chin kín lí tō ē pàng bē-kì, pí lí siūⁿ ê khah kín. Lí khì hō͘ chi̍t ê kiâⁿ bē thong ê lí-lūn pa̍k-tio̍h. Lí í-keng jī-sì hòe; ài siūⁿ ka-tī ê chiong-lâi. Lí bô khó-lêng éng-oán ài chit ê cha-bó͘, i mā bô khó-lêng éng-oán ài lí. Lín nn̄g-lâng lóng kā ài-chêng kóng-liáu siuⁿ phòng-hong. Lí kā chiân-tô͘ tn̄g tiāu ah, koh kiâⁿ chi̍t pō͘, lí tō bô hoat-tō͘ hôe-thâu, tō ē chi̍t-sì-lâng ūi-tio̍h siàu-liân sî ê hòng-tōng lâi chia̍h-khó͘. Lí ē-sái lī-khui Paris, lâi hām lín sió-mōe kap góa chò-hóe tòa chi̍t-nn̄g kò goe̍h. Hioh-khùn tī chheng-chēng ê ka-têng un-loán nih, chin kín tō ē tī-liâu lí ê kông-jia̍t, che bô siáⁿ-hòe. Kāng-khoán, lí ê chêng-hū mā ē khòaⁿ-khui; i ē koh kau pa̍t-ê chêng-jîn. Hit-sî, tán lí khòaⁿ tio̍h lí ūi tio̍h che hiám-hiám kap lāu-pē chhia-péng, soah sit-khì lāu-pē ê ài, lí tō ē chai, góa lâi chia chhōe lí, khiú lí chhut-lâi sī tio̍h ê, lí tō ē kám-siā góa. Hó lah, lí thiaⁿ góa ê ōe, Armand, án-ne kám m̄-hó?"

--

20.2 恁 kā 愛情講了傷膨風

"請聽我講, 阿爸, hiah-ê kā 你講我 ê 代誌 ê 人並毋知實情. 我是 Gautier Sc ê 情人, 我 kap 伊同居; 這 tī 社會是真自然 ê 代誌. 我並無為著 Gautier Sc 拍歹咱 ê 名聲; 我為伊所開 ê 錢是我開會起 ê; 我 mā 無欠人錢; 簡單講, 我 ê 狀況毋是像你拄才 kă 講 án-ne, 猶無值到老爸來教示囝."

"老爸總是有權解救行邪路 ê 囝. 你猶未造成傷害, 毋過你早慢會做出傷害."

"阿爸!"

"先生, 我比你較了解人生. 干焦貞節 ê 查某才會有純潔 ê 感情. 每一个 Manon 攏會有伊家己 ê Des Grieux, 今時代無共款 ah. Nā 無 ùi 過去學著教訓, 世界 ê 進展 tō 無啥意義. 你著離開你 ê 情婦."

"真歹勢, 我袂聽你 ê, 阿爸, 這我做袂到."

"我會迫你做甲到."

"歹勢, 已經無 Sainte Marguerite 島通放逐趁食查某 ah, 若準算有, 你 kā 伊放逐去遐, 我著綴伊去遐. Án-ne 你得著啥? 我有可能有毋著, 毋過我干焦著做這个查某 ê 愛人, 我才會快樂."

"Ai-ah, Armand, 目睭擘較金 leh. 你著承認, 我是恁老爸 teh kap 你講話, 我一直攏真愛你, 我關心你 ê 幸福. 你去和一个以前 kap 濟濟人睏過 ê 查某 ná 翁某 án-ne 同居, 這敢袂真見笑?"

"Nā 莫 koh kap 別人睏, 阿爸, 彼那有啥要緊? 這个查某 nā 愛我, 因為阮兩人 ê 愛情予伊得著全新 ê 性命, 彼那有啥要緊? 今伊已經變做一个完全無仝 ê 查某 ah, 彼那有啥要緊?"

"Nā án-ne, 先生, 你是毋是想講有身份 ê 查埔 ê 任務是改變迷路 ê 查某? 你是毋是想講神賦予性命這種怪奇 ê 使命? 人 ê 心肝敢著干焦有這種熱情? 這種了不起 ê 救助有啥結果? 對你今仔日講 ê 話, 到四十歲 ê 時你會按怎想? 你會笑你這種愛情, 如果你猶笑會出來, 抑是伊無留予你傷嚴重 ê 痕跡. 恁老爸當初 nā 像你 án-ne, kā 家己 ê 性命交予這種衝碰, 煞無深深釘根 tī 名聲 kap 信用, 這陣 ê 你會 tī 佗位 ah? Koh 想看覓 leh, Armand, 莫 koh 講戇話 ah-lah. 好 lah, 離開這个查某; 我拜託你."

我恬恬無應.

"Armand," 阮老爸繼續講, "看在恁老母 ê 在天之靈, 放掉這種生活, 真緊你 tō 會放袂記, 比你想 ê 較緊. 你去予一个行袂通 ê 理論縛著. 你已經 24 歲; 愛想家己 ê 將來. 你無可能永遠愛這个查某, 伊 mā 無可能永遠愛你. 恁兩人攏 kā 愛情講了傷膨風. 你 kā 前途斷掉 ah, koh 行一步, 你 tō 無法度回頭, tō 會一世人為著少年時 ê 放蕩來食苦. 你會使離開 Paris, 來和恁小妹 kap 我做伙蹛一兩個月. 歇睏 tī 清靜 ê 家庭溫暖 nih, 真緊 tō 會治療你 ê 狂熱, 這無啥貨. 仝款, 你 ê 情婦 mā 會看開; 伊會 koh 交別个情人. 彼時, 等你看著你為著這險險 kap 老爸 chhia-péng, 煞失去老爸 ê 愛, 你 tō 會知, 我來遮揣你, 搝你出來是著 ê, 你 tō 會感謝我. 好 lah, 你聽我 ê 話, Armand, án-ne 敢毋好?"

--

20.2

"Permit me to tell you, father, that those who have given you information about me have been ill- informed. I am the lover of Mlle. Gautier; I live with her; it is the most natural thing in the world. I do not give Mlle. Gautier the name you have given me; I spend on her account what my means allow me to spend; I have no debts; and, in short, I am not in a position which authorizes a father to say to his son what you have just said to me." 

"A father is always authorized to rescue his son out of evil paths. You have not done any harm yet, but you will do it." 

"Father!" 

"Sir, I know more of life than you do. There are no entirely pure sentiments except in perfectly chaste women. Every Manon can have her own Des Grieux, and times are changed. It would be useless for the world to grow older if it did not correct its ways. You will leave your mistress." 

"I am very sorry to disobey you, father, but it is impossible." 

"I will compel you to do so." 

"Unfortunately, father, there no longer exists a Sainte Marguerite to which courtesans can be sent, and, even if there were, I would follow Mlle. Gautier if you succeeded in having her sent there. What would you have? Perhaps am in the wrong, but I can only be happy as long as I am the lover of this woman." 

"Come, Armand, open your eyes. Recognise that it is your father who speaks to you, your father who has always loved you, and who only desires your happiness. Is it honourable for you to live like husband and wife with a woman whom everybody has had?" 

"What does it matter, father, if no one will any more? What does it matter, if this woman loves me, if her whole life is changed through the love which she has for me and the love which I have for her? What does it matter, if she has become a different woman?" 

"Do you think, then, sir, that the mission of a man of honour is to go about converting lost women? Do you think that God has given such a grotesque aim to life, and that the heart should have any room for enthusiasm of that kind? What will be the end of this marvellous cure, and what will you think of what you are saying to-day by the time you are forty? You will laugh at this love of yours, if you can still laugh, and if it has not left too serious a trace in your past. What would you be now if your father had had your ideas and had given up his life to every impulse of this kind, instead of rooting himself firmly in convictions of honour and steadfastness? Think it over, Armand, and do not talk any more such absurdities. Come, leave this woman; your father entreats you." 

I answered nothing. 

"Armand," continued my father, "in the name of your sainted mother, abandon this life, which you will forget more easily than you think. You are tied to it by an impossible theory. You are twenty-four; think of the future. You can not always love this woman, who also can not always love you. You both exaggerate your love. You put an end to your whole career. One step further, and you will no longer be able to leave the path you have chosen, and you will suffer all your life for what you have done in your youth. Leave Paris. Come and stay for a month or two with your sister and me. Rest in our quiet family affection will soon heal you of this fever, for it is nothing else. Meanwhile, your mistress will console herself; she will take another lover; and when you see what it is for which you have all but broken with your father, and all but lost his love, you will tell me that I have done well to come and seek you out, and you will thank me for it. Come, you will go with me, Armand, will you not?" 

--