24.2 伊無怨我, 顛倒來求情

24.2 I bô oàn góa, tian-tò lâi kiû-chêng

Lo̍h-bóe, Marguerite bô koh chham-ka bú-hōe, mā bô khì khòaⁿ hì, bián-tit tú-tio̍h Olympe kap góa. Koh-lâi, tng-bīn ê thí-jio̍k ōaⁿ-chò siá o͘-phe, bô chi̍t-hāng kiàn-siàu-tāi góa bô kó͘-lē góa ê chêng-hū kā soan-thoân, góa ka-tī mā soan-thoân, sū-sū lóng khan-liân hō͘ Marguerite.

Chò-kah án-ne, góa it-tēng sī siáu ah. Góa tō ná lim pháiⁿ chiú lim-kah chùi, sin-keng oân-choân chhò-loān, chhiú teh hoān-chōe, náu oân-choân bô kám-kak. Tī chò chiah-ê ê sî, góa mā jím-siū chin tōa ê thòng-khó͘. Tùi góa ê kong-kek, Marguerite só͘ piáu-hiān chhut-lâi ê an-siông koh bô khin-sī, chun-giâm koh bô kiau-ngō͘, chāi-chāi hián-sī i pí góa khah ko-sióng, hō͘ góa tùi i koh khah siū-khì, koh khah hoán-kám.

Chi̍t kang àm-sî, Olympe m̄-chai chhut-khì tó-ūi, khì tú-tio̍h Marguerite. Chit kái, Marguerite bô pàng-kòe chit ê gōng cha-bó͘, pìⁿ-kah Olympe tòng i bē tiâu. Olympe tńg-lâi khì phut-phut, a̍h Marguerite soah hūn-khì, tio̍h lâng kā hû tńg-khì. Olympe kă kóng tāi-chì ê keng-kòe, kóng, Marguerite khòaⁿ tio̍h i ka-tī, tō boeh kā pò-siû, kóng, sī in-ūi i sī góa ê chêng-hū. Olympe kiò góa tio̍h siá-phe hō͘ Marguerite, kiò i tio̍h chun-tiōng góa só͘ ài ê cha-bó͘, m̄-koán góa sī-m̄-sī chāi-tiûⁿ.

 Bián-kóng lí mā chai, góa sûi tông-ì, hit-kang góa sûi kià-chhut hit tiuⁿ phe khì in tau, lāi-té siá móa góa siūⁿ ē-kàu ê khau-sé, bú-jio̍k, kap chân-jím ê ōe.

Chit kái ê táⁿ-kek siuⁿ kòe-hūn, chit ê ut-chut ê cha-bó͘ bô khó-lêng bô hoán-èng. Góa siong-sìn i ē siá hôe-phe, só͘-í góa kui-kang lóng bô chhut-mn̂g. Nn̄g-tiám chó-iū, ū lâng khiú mn̂g-lêng, Prudence ji̍p-lâi.

Góa kek bô-siáⁿ, mn̄g i lâi ū siáⁿ tāi-chì; m̄-koh hit kang Duvernoy Hj bīn bô chhiò-iông, iōng chi̍t ê giâm-siok ê kháu-khì kă kóng, chū-chiông góa tńg-lâi, iā tō-sī liōng-iok saⁿ lé-pài, góa it-ti̍t chhōe ki-hōe hêng-ge̍k Marguerite, taⁿ i oân-choân jím bē-tiâu ah, ka-siōng cha-àm ê hong-pho kap chá-khí góa hit tiuⁿ khì-phut-phut ê phe, í-keng hō͘ i pēⁿ-tó chāi-chhn̂g. Kán-tan kóng, Maguerite bô oàn góa, chí-sī chhiáⁿ i lâi kiû-chêng, in-ūi m̄-koán cheng-sîn siōng a̍h-sī bah-thé siōng i lóng bô hoat-tō͘ koh jím-siū góa hō͘ i ê chiat-bôa.

"Hit ê Gautier Sc," góa kā Prudence kóng, "i ū khoân-lī kóaⁿ góa chhut i ê chhù, m̄-koh i bē-sái bú-jio̍k góa só͘ ài ê cha-bó͘, koh chí-chek i, iōng i sī góa ê chêng-hū chò lí-iû, che góa oân-choân bē-tàng chiap-siū."

"Góa ê pêng-iú," Prudence kóng, "lí hō͘ chi̍t ê bô thâu-khak mā bô sim-koaⁿ ê cha-bó͘ éng-hióng tio̍h ah. Lí ài i bô m̄-tio̍h, m̄-koh m̄-thang iōng che chò lí-iû khì khi-hū chi̍t ê bô lêng-le̍k chū-ūi ê cha-bó͘."

"Chí-iàu Gautier Sc kā N pek-chiok kóaⁿ-cháu, góa tō soah."

"Lí chai, i bē án-ne chò. Só͘-í, góa ê Armand, lí pàng i soah lah. Lí nā khòaⁿ tio̍h i, lí ē kiàn-siàu lí án-ne ge̍k-thāi i. I bīn-sek pe̍h chhang-chhang, i ka-sàu, i koh oa̍h bô kú ah lah."

Prudence chhun chhiú hō͘ góa, koh kóng:

"Lí lâi thàm i; án-ne i ē chin hoaⁿ-hí."

"Góa bô-ài tú-tio̍h N pek-chiok."

"N pek-chiok lóng bē tī hia. Marguerite m̄-hō͘ lâu tī hia."

"Marguerite nā boeh khòaⁿ góa, i chai góa tòa tī tó; kiò i lâi khòaⁿ góa, nā góa, góa bē koh ta̍h-kha-kàu d'Antin Ke."

"Lí ē hó-hó chiap-thāi i bô?"

"It-tēng."

"Hm, góa siong-sìn i ē lâi."

"Hō͘ i lâi."

"Lí kin-á-ji̍t ē chhut-khì bô?"

"Góa kui e-àm lóng ē tī lih."

"Góa ē kā kóng." Chū án-ne Prudence tńg-khì.

Góa bô siá-phe kā Olympe kóng góa bē khì i hia. Góa bô kā i khǹg tī sim-lāi, chi̍t lé-pài chhōe i bô chi̍t pái. Góa siong-sìn, i ē chhōe chhìn-chhái chi̍t keng kio̍k-tiûⁿ ê ián-oân lâi an-ùi ka-tī.

Góa chhut-khì chia̍h àm, sûi tō tńg-lâi. Góa kā pâng-keng ê lô͘-hóe hiâⁿ to̍h, kiò Joseph ē-sái lī-khui.

Góa bô hoat-tō͘ kóng-chhut teh tán ê hit tiám-cheng sim-lāi jiáu-loān ê siūⁿ-hoat; m̄-koh boeh káu-tiám ê sî, góa thiaⁿ tio̍h mn̂g-lêng ê siaⁿ, góa ê kám-chêng kek-tōng, boeh khui mn̂g ê sî, góa soah tio̍h hû tī piah, bián-tit poa̍h-tó.

Kai-chài, hòe-kheh-sek ê teng-kng àm-sàm, góa bīn-sek ê piàn-hòa khòaⁿ bô siáⁿ ē chhut-lâi. Marguerite ji̍p-lâi ah.

I chhēng o͘-sek ê saⁿ, khàm bīn-se. Thàu-kòe bīn-se góa kiông boeh bē jīn-tit i. I ji̍p kàu kheh-thiaⁿ, kā bīn-se hian khí-lâi. I bīn-sek pe̍h kah ná tāi-lí-chio̍h.

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24.2 伊無怨我, 顛倒來求情

落尾, Marguerite 無 koh 參加舞會, mā 無去看戲, 免得拄著 Olympe kap 我. 閣來, 當面 ê 恥辱換做寫烏批, 無一項見笑代我無鼓勵我 ê 情婦 kā 宣傳, 我家己 mā 宣傳, 事事攏牽連予 Marguerite.

做甲 án-ne, 我一定是痟 ah. 我 tō ná 啉歹酒啉甲醉, 神經完全錯亂, 手 teh 犯罪, 腦完全無感覺. Tī 做 chiah-ê ê 時, 我 mā 忍受真大 ê 痛苦. 對我 ê 攻擊, Marguerite 所表現出來 ê 安祥 koh 無輕視, 尊嚴 koh 無驕傲, 在在顯示伊比我較高尚, 予我對伊閣較受氣, 閣較反感.

一工暗時, Olympe 毋知出去佗位, 去拄著 Marguerite. 這改, Marguerite 無放過這个戇查某, pìⁿ 甲 Olympe 擋伊袂牢. Olympe 轉來氣 phut-phut, a̍h Marguerite 煞昏去, 著人 kā 扶轉去. Olympe kă 講代誌 ê 經過, 講, Marguerite 看著伊家己, tō 欲 kā 報仇, 講, 是因為伊是我 ê 情婦. Olympe 叫我著寫批予 Marguerite, 叫伊著尊重我所愛 ê 查某, 毋管我是毋是在場.

免講你 mā 知, 我隨同意, 彼工我隨寄出彼張批去 in 兜, 內底寫滿我想會到 ê 剾洗, 侮辱, kap 殘忍 ê 話.

這改 ê 打擊傷過份, 這个鬱卒 ê 查某無可能無反應. 我相信伊會寫回批, 所以我規工攏無出門. 兩點左右, 有人搝門鈴, Prudence 入來.

我激無啥, 問伊來有啥代誌; 毋過彼工 Duvernoy Hj 面無笑容, 用一个嚴肅 ê 口氣 kă 講, 自從我轉來, 也 tō 是量約三禮拜, 我一直揣機會橫逆 Marguerite, 今伊完全忍袂牢 ah, 加上昨暗 ê 風波 kap 早起我彼張氣 phut-phut ê 批, 已經予伊病倒在床. 簡單講, Maguerite 無怨我, 只是請伊來求情, 因為毋管精神上抑是肉體上伊攏無法度 koh 忍受我予伊 ê 折磨.

"彼个 Gautier Sc," 我 kā Prudence 講, "伊有權利趕我出伊 ê 厝, 毋過伊袂使侮辱我所愛 ê 查某, koh 指責伊, 用伊是我 ê 情婦做理由, 這我完全袂當接受."

"我 ê 朋友," Prudence 講, "你予一个無頭殼 mā 無心肝 ê 查某影響著 ah. 你愛伊無毋著, 毋過毋通用這做理由去欺負一个無能力自衛 ê 查某."

"只要 Gautier Sc kā N 伯爵趕走, 我 tō 煞."

"你知, 伊袂 án-ne 做. 所以, 我 ê Armand, 你放伊煞 lah. 你 nā 看著伊, 你會見笑你 án-ne 虐待伊. 伊面色白蔥蔥, 伊咳嗽, 伊 koh 活無久 ah lah."

Prudence 伸手予我, koh 講:

"你來探伊; án-ne 伊會真歡喜."

"我無愛拄著 N 伯爵."

"N 伯爵攏袂 tī 遐. Marguerite 毋予留 tī 遐."

"Marguerite nā 欲看我, 伊知我蹛 tī 佗; 叫伊來看我, nā 我, 我袂 koh 踏跤到 d'Antin 街."

"你會好好接待伊無?"

"一定."

"Hm, 我相信伊會來."

"予伊來."

"你今仔日會出去無?"

"我規下暗攏會 tī lih."

"我會 kā 講." 自 án-ne Prudence 轉去.

我無寫批 kā Olympe 講我袂去伊遐. 我無 kā 伊囥 tī 心內, 一禮拜揣伊無一擺. 我相信, 伊會揣凊彩一間劇場 ê 演員來安慰家己.

我出去食暗, 隨 tō 轉來. 我 kā 房間 ê 爐火燃 to̍h, 叫 Joseph 會使離開.

我無法度講出 teh 等 ê 彼點鐘心內擾亂 ê 想法; 毋過欲九點 ê 時, 我聽著門鈴 ê 聲, 我 ê 感情激動, 欲開門 ê 時, 我煞著扶 tī 壁, 免得跋倒.

佳哉, 會客室 ê 燈光暗毿, 我面色 ê 變化看無啥會出來. Marguerite 入來 ah.

伊穿烏色 ê 衫, 崁面紗. 透過面紗我強欲袂認得伊. 伊入到客廳, kā 面紗掀起來. 伊面色白甲 ná 大理石.

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24.2

At last Marguerite gave up going to balls or theatres, for fear of meeting Olympe and me. Then direct impertinences gave way to anonymous letters, and there was not a shameful thing which I did not encourage my mistress to relate and which I did not myself relate in reference to Marguerite. 

To reach such a point I must have been literally mad. I was like a man drunk upon bad wine, who falls into one of those nervous exaltations in which the hand is capable of committing a crime without the head knowing anything about it. In the midst of it all I endured a martyrdom. The not disdainful calm, the not contemptuous dignity with which Marguerite responded to all my attacks, and which raised her above me in my own eyes, enraged me still more against her. 

One evening Olympe had gone somewhere or other, and had met Marguerite, who for once had not spared the foolish creature, so that she had had to retire in confusion. Olympe returned in a fury, and Marguerite fainted and had to be carried out. Olympe related to me what had happened, declared that Marguerite, seeing her alone, had revenged herself upon her because she was my mistress, and that I must write and tell her to respect the woman whom I loved, whether I was present or absent. 

I need not tell you that I consented, and that I put into the letter which I sent to her address the same day, everything bitter, shameful, and cruel that I could think of. 

This time the blow was more than the unhappy creature could endure without replying. I felt sure that an answer would come, and I resolved not to go out all day. About two there was a ring, and Prudence entered.

I tried to assume an indifferent air as I asked her what had brought her; but that day Mme. Duvernoy was not in a laughing humour, and in a really moved voice she said to me that since my return, that is to say for about three weeks, I had left no occasion untried which could give pain to Marguerite, that she was completely upset by it, and that the scene of last night and my angry letter of the morning had forced her to take to her bed. In short, without making any reproach, Marguerite sent to ask me for a little pity, since she had no longer the moral or physical strength to endure what I was making her suffer. 

"That Mlle. Gautier," I said to Prudence, "should turn me out of her own house is quite reasonable, but that she should insult the woman whom I love, under the pretence that this woman is my mistress, is a thing I will never permit." 

"My friend," said Prudence, "you are under the influence of a woman who has neither heart nor sense; you are in love with her, it is true, but that is not a reason for torturing a woman who can not defend herself." 

"Let Mlle. Gautier send me her Comte de N. and the sides will be equal." 

"You know very well that she will not do that. So, my dear Armand, let her alone. If you saw her you would be ashamed of the way in which you are treating her. She is white, she coughs--she won't last long now." 

And Prudence held out her hand to me, adding: 

"Come and see her; it will make her very happy." 

"I have no desire to meet M. de N."

"M. de N. is never there. She can not endure him." 

"If Marguerite wishes to see me, she knows where I live; let her come to see me, but, for my part, I will never put foot in the Rue d'Antin." 

"Will you receive her well?" 

"Certainly."

"Well, I am sure that she will come." 

"Let her come."

"Shall you be out to-day?"

"I shall be at home all the evening." 

"I will tell her." And Prudence left me. 

I did not even write to tell Olympe not to expect me. I never troubled much about her, scarcely going to see her one night a week. She consoled herself, I believe, with an actor from some theatre or other. 

I went out for dinner and came back almost immediately. I had a fire lit in my room and I told Joseph he could go out. 

I can give you no idea of the different impressions which agitated me during the hour in which I waited; but when, toward nine o'clock, I heard a ring, they thronged together into one such emotion, that, as I opened the door, I was obliged to lean against the wall to keep myself from falling. 

Fortunately the anteroom was in half darkness, and the change in my countenance was less visible. Marguerite entered. 

She was dressed in black and veiled. I could scarcely recognise her face through the veil. She went into the drawing-room and raised her veil. She was pale as marble. 

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