23.4 我著創步來破壞 in

23.4 Góa tio̍h chhòng-pō͘ lâi phò-hoāi in

"Iáu-koh ū," Prudence kè-sio̍k kóng, "góa m̄-bat khòaⁿ tio̍h i chhiūⁿ taⁿ án-ne; i chiâⁿ chió khùn, chha-put-to ta̍k-ê bú-hōe lóng chham-ka, koh chia̍h siau-iā, mā lim-chiú. Chêng-kang, chia̍h siau-iā liáu, i phòa-pēⁿ tó-chhn̂g chi̍t lé-pài, tán i-seng ín-chún i khí-lâi, i iū-koh khai-sí án-ne bé-miā seng-oa̍h. Lí ū boeh khì khòaⁿ i bô?"

"Che ū siáⁿ iōng? Góa sī boeh lâi khòaⁿ lí, in-ūi lí it-ti̍t tùi góa hó, bōe bat Marguerite chìn-chêng góa tō seng bat lí ah. Góa bat chò i ê chêng-jîn, lóng sī lí ê kong-lô, taⁿ góa m̄-sī i ê chêng-jîn, che kám m̄-sī mā in-ūi lí?"

"Hm, góa chīn-la̍t hō͘ i lī-khui lí, góa siong-sìn í-āu lí ē kám-siā góa."

"Góa ē ka-pōe kám-siā lí lah," góa ná kóng ná khiā khí-lâi, in-ūi góa thó-ià chit ê cha-bó͘, i chiong góa kóng ê ta̍k kù ōe lóng tòng-chò chin ê.

"Lí boeh cháu ah?"

"Tio̍h"

Góa chai ê í-keng ū-kàu ah.

"Tang-sî ē khòaⁿ tio̍h lí?"

"Chin kín, Chài-hōe."

"Chài-hōe."

Prudence sàng góa kàu mn̂g-kháu, góa tńg kàu goán tau, ba̍k-sái sì-lâm-sûi, sim-nih to̍k-to̍k siūⁿ boeh pò-ho̍k.

Án-ne kóng, Marguerite kap pa̍t-lâng bô siáⁿ bô kāng; i tùi góa ê chin-sim ài-chêng té-tòng bē tiâu i siūⁿ-boeh tńg-khì kòe-khì seng-oa̍h ê io̍k-bōng, kap siūⁿ-boeh ū bé-chhia hām hiáng-siū phok-sóng ê su-iàu. Só͘-í, tī àm-sî khùn bē-khì ê sî, góa án-ne kā ka-tī kóng, kì-jiân boeh pêng-chēng hoán-séng, góa eng-kai ē-tàng tī Marguerite chit ê sin ê hūn-cha̍p seng-oa̍h tiong, khòaⁿ tio̍h i sī boeh pàng-sak chi̍t ê pàng bē-khì ê su-liām, chi̍t ê ko-ko-tîⁿ ê kì-tî. Put-hēng ê sī, pháiⁿ-sim chiàn-iâⁿ, góa kan-ta it-ti̍t teh siūⁿ pò-ho̍k hit ê khó-liân ko͘-niû ê chhiú-tōaⁿ. Oh, chū-su ê kám-chêng siū tio̍h siong-hāi ê sî, cha-po͘-lâng ná ē hiah-nī siáu-jîn, hiah-nī pi-phí ah!

Hit ê góa khòaⁿ tio̍h ê Olympe, chún-nā m̄-sī Marguerite ê hó pêng-iú, mā sī i tńg-lâi Paris liáu-āu, lâng siōng chia̍p khòaⁿ tio̍h in chò-hóe ê cha-bó͘. I boeh khui chi̍t ê bú-hōe, góa jīn-ûi, Marguerite tiāⁿ-tio̍h mā ē chham-ka, góa tō siūⁿ pān-hoat chhòng tio̍h chi̍t tiuⁿ chhiáⁿ-thiap.

Góa sim cho-cho lâi-kàu bú-hōe, hia í-keng chiâⁿ lāu-jia̍t. Lâng-lâng thiàu-bú koh tōa-siaⁿ jiáng. Tī chi̍t-kái sì-cho͘-bú-khek (quadrille) ê sî, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h Marguerite hām N pek-chiok teh thiàu, N pek-chiok chin hong-sîn tián i ê bú-phōaⁿ, ká-ná sī teh kā ta̍k-ê kóng, "Chit ê cha-bó͘ sī góa ê."

 Góa phēng tī Marguerite tùi-bīn ê piah-lô͘, khòaⁿ i thiàu-bú. I chi̍t khòaⁿ tio̍h góa, bīn-sek kui-ê lóng piàn. Góa kā khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē koh iōng chhiú ia̍t chi̍t-ē chhìn-chhái kap i phah chio-ho͘.

Siūⁿ tio̍h bú-hōe liáu, i tiāⁿ-tio̍h tńg-chhù, m̄-sī hām góa, sī hām hit ê hó-gia̍h pn̄g-tháng, koh siūⁿ tio̍h tńg-khì í-āu ē hoat-seng ê tāi-chì, góa ê bīn tō chhiong-hoeh, góa kám-kak tio̍h chhòng-pō͘ lâi phò-hoāi in ê koan-hē.

Tī tùi-bīn-bú-khek (contredanse) liáu, góa kiâⁿ khì chhōe lú-chú-lâng, tī lâi-pin bīn-chêng i ê saⁿ lō͘-chhut keng-thâu koh thèⁿ-chhut hong-boán ê heng-pō͘. I chiâⁿ súi, sin-châi khòaⁿ khì-lâi koh khah súi-kòe Marguerite. Teh kap i kong-ōe ê sî, ùi Marguerite khòaⁿ kòe-lâi ê gán-sîn, góa koh khah ē-tàng khak-tēng chit ê sū-si̍t. Cha-po͘-lâng nā chò chit ê cha-bó͘ ê chêng-jîn tō ē-tàng chhiūⁿ N Ss hiah-nī hong-sîn, i koh hian-nī súi, mā ē-tàng ín-khí góa ê jia̍t-chêng, tō ná chhiūⁿ Marguerite bat án-ne ín-khí góa kāng-khoán. Hit-sî i pēng bô chêng-jîn, boeh jiok i bô siáⁿ khùn-lân; chú-iàu sī the̍h chîⁿ chhut-lâi tián, ín-khí i ê chú-ì tō ē-sái.

Góa chū án-ne koat-tēng. Chit ê cha-bo͘ ài chò góa ê chêng-hū. Góa khai-sí chio i thiàu-bú. Pòaⁿ tiám-cheng liáu-āu, Marguerite bīn-sek sí-pe̍h, phôe-i chhēng-leh, lī-khui bú-hōe.

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23.4 我著創步來破壞 in

"猶閣有," Prudence 繼續講, "我毋 bat 看著伊像今 án-ne; 伊誠少睏, 差不多逐个舞會攏參加, koh 食宵夜, mā 啉酒. 前工, 食宵夜了, 伊破病倒床一禮拜, 等醫生允准伊起來, 伊又閣開始 án-ne 買命生活. 你有欲去看伊無?"

"這有啥用? 我是欲來看你, 因為你一直對我好, 未捌 Marguerite 進前我 tō 先捌你 ah. 我 bat 做伊 ê 情人, 攏是你 ê 功勞, 今我毋是伊 ê 情人, 這敢毋是 mā 因為你?"

"Hm, 我盡力予伊離開你, 我相信以後你會感謝我."

"我會加倍感謝你 lah," 我 ná 講 ná 徛起來, 因為我討厭這个查某, 伊將我講 ê 逐句話攏當做真 ê.

"你欲走 ah?"

"著"

我知 ê 已經有夠 ah.

"當時會看著你?"

"真緊, 再會."

"再會."

Prudence 送我到門口, 我轉到阮兜, 目屎四淋垂, 心 nih 獨獨想欲報復.

Án-ne 講, Marguerite kap 別人無啥無仝; 伊對我 ê 真心愛情抵擋袂牢伊想欲轉去過去生活 ê 慾望, kap 想欲有馬車和享受博爽 ê 需要. 所以, tī 暗時睏袂去 ê 時, 我 án-ne kā 家己講, 既然欲平靜反省, 我應該會當 tī Marguerite 這个新 ê 混雜生活中, 看著伊是欲放捒一个放袂去 ê 思念, 一个膏膏纏 ê 記持. 不幸 ê 是, 歹心戰贏, 我干焦一直 teh 想報復彼个可憐姑娘 ê 手段. Oh, 自私 ê 感情受著傷害 ê 時, 查埔人那會 hiah-nī 小人, hiah-nī 卑鄙 ah!

彼个我看著 ê Olympe, 準若毋是 Marguerite ê 好朋友, mā 是伊轉來 Paris 了後, 人上捷看著 in 做伙 ê 查某. 伊欲開一个舞會, 我認為, Marguerite 定著 mā 會參加, 我 tō 想辦法創著一張請帖.

我心慒慒來到舞會, 遐已經誠鬧熱. 人人跳舞 koh 大聲嚷. Tī 一改四組舞曲 (quadrille) ê 時, 我看著 Marguerite 和 N 伯爵 teh 跳, N 伯爵真風神展伊 ê 舞伴, 敢若是 teh kā 逐个講, "這个查某是我 ê."

我 phēng tī Marguerite 對面 ê 壁爐, 看伊跳舞. 伊一看著我, 面色規个攏變. 我 kā 看一下 koh 用手擛一下凊彩 kap 伊拍招呼.

想著舞會了, 伊定著轉厝, 毋是和我, 是和彼个好額飯桶, koh 想著轉去以後會發生 ê 代誌, 我 ê 面 tō 充血, 我感覺著創步來破壞 in ê 關係.

Tī 對面舞曲 (contredanse) 了, 我行去揣女主人, tī 來賓面前伊 ê 衫露出肩頭 koh thèⁿ 出豐滿 ê 胸部. 伊誠媠, 身材看起來閣較媠過 Marguerite. Teh kap 伊講話 ê 時, ùi Marguerite 看過來 ê 眼神, 我閣較會當確定這个事實. 查埔人 nā 做這个查某 ê 情人 tō 會當像 N Ss hiah-nī 風神, 伊 koh hian-nī 媠, mā 會當引起我 ê 熱情, tō 若像 Marguerite bat án-ne 引起我仝款. 彼時伊並無情人, 欲逐伊無啥困難; 主要是提錢出來展, 引起伊 ê 注意 tō 會使.

我自 án-ne 決定. 這个查某愛做我 ê 情婦. 我開始招伊跳舞. 半點鐘了後, Marguerite 面色死白, 皮衣穿 leh, 離開舞會.

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23.4

"For the rest," continued Prudence, "I never saw her as she is now; she hardly takes any sleep, she goes to all the balls, she goes to suppers, she even drinks. The other day, after a supper, she had to stay in bed for a week; and when the doctor let her get up, she began again at the risk of her life. Shall you go and see her?" 

"What is the good? I came to see you, because you have always been charming to me, and I knew you before I ever knew Marguerite. I owe it to you that I have been her lover, and also, don't I, that I am her lover no longer?" 

"Well, I did all I could to get her away from you, and I believe you will be thankful to me later on." 

"I owe you a double gratitude," I added, rising, for I was disgusted with the woman, seeing her take every word I said to her as if it were serious. 

"You are going?" 

"Yes." 

I had learned enough. 

"When shall I be seeing you?" 

"Soon. Good-bye." 

"Good-bye." 

Prudence saw me to the door, and I went back to my own rooms with tears of rage in my eyes and a desire for vengeance in my heart. 

So Marguerite was no different from the others; so the steadfast love that she had had for me could not resist the desire of returning to her former life, and the need of having a carriage and plunging into dissipation. So I said to myself, as I lay awake at night though if I had reflected as calmly as I professed to I should have seen in this new and turbulent life of Marguerite the attempt to silence a constant thought, a ceaseless memory. Unfortunately, evil passion had the upper hand, and I only sought for some means of avenging myself on the poor creature. Oh, how petty and vile is man when he is wounded in one of his narrow passions! 

This Olympe whom I had seen was, if not a friend of Marguerite, at all events the woman with whom she was most often seen since her return to Paris. She was going to give a ball, and, as I took it for granted that Marguerite would be there, I tried to get an invitation and succeeded. 

When, full of my sorrowful emotions, I arrived at the ball, it was already very animated. They were dancing, shouting even, and in one of the quadrilles I perceived Marguerite dancing with the Comte de N., who seemed proud of showing her off, as if he said to everybody: "This woman is mine." 

I leaned against the mantel-piece just opposite Marguerite and watched her dancing. Her face changed the moment she caught sight of me. I saluted her casually with a glance of the eyes and a wave of the hand. 

When I reflected that after the ball she would go home, not with me but with that rich fool, when I thought of what would follow their return, the blood rose to my face, and I felt the need of doing something to trouble their relations. 

After the contredanse I went up to the mistress of the house, who displayed for the benefit of her guests a dazzling bosom and magnificent shoulders. She was beautiful, and, from the point of view of figure, more beautiful than Marguerite. I realized this fact still more clearly from certain glances which Marguerite bestowed upon her while I was talking with her. The man who was the lover of such a woman might well be as proud as M. de N., and she was beautiful enough to inspire a passion not less great than that which Marguerite had inspired in me. At that moment she had no lover. It would not be difficult to become so; it depended only on showing enough money to attract her attention. 

I made up my mind. That woman should be my mistress. I began by dancing with her. Half an hour afterward, Marguerite, pale as death, put on her pelisse and left the ball. 

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