Tē 16 Chiong
16.1 Chêng-hū hèng-chhù pah-pah chióng
Góa pún-lâi mā ē-sái kan-ta iōng kúi kù ōe kā lí
kóng góan se̍k-sāi ê khí-pō͘, m̄-koh góa siūⁿ-boeh hō͘ lí chai-iáⁿ múi
chi̍t-pō͘, sī án-chóaⁿ góa hiah-nī thiaⁿ Marguerite ê ōe, koh Marguerite bô góa
i tō oa̍h bē lo̍h-khì.
Góa sī tī i lâi goán-tau hit-mê ê tē-jī kang, góa
sàng i "Manon Lescaut" chit pún chheh.
Khòaⁿ tio̍h góa bô hoat-tō͘ kái-piàn goán chêng-hū
ê seng-oa̍h hit-chūn khai-sí, góa tō kái-piàn góa ka-tī ê seng-oa̍h. Chū án-ne,
góa chīn-liōng mài khì siūⁿ góa ê sin-hūn, bián-tit sim-chêng ut-būn. Góa kā
pún-lâi pêng-chēng ê seng-oa̍h piàn-kah lāu-jia̍t koh hūn-loān. Lí chhian-bān
m̄-thang siūⁿ-kóng, kau-chè-hoe ê ài nā m̄-sī ūi-tio̍h chîⁿ tō m̄-bián khai
chîⁿ. Chêng-hū chóng-sī hèng-chhù pah-pah chióng: hoe-sok, kio̍k-tiûⁿ
pau-siuⁿ, siau-iā, khì chng-kha thit-thô; chiah-ê iau-kiû lán lóng bē-sái kī-choa̍t,
chiah-ê koh lóng iáu-siū kùi.
Góa kóng kòe, góa bô siáⁿ chîⁿ. Góan lāu-pē kòe-khì
kap taⁿ lóng sī C siâⁿ-chhī ê sòe-bū tiúⁿ. I tī hia chò-lâng chin tiong-hō͘,
miâ-siaⁿ hó, in-ūi án-ne, i ē-tàng chioh-tio̍h tam-jīm chit ê chit-ūi ê pó-chèng-kim.
Chit ê chit-ūi chi̍t nî ē-tàng siu-ji̍p sì-bān franc,
cha̍p nî lâi, i í-keng kā pó-chèng-kim hêng liáu ah, iáu ū chûn goán sió-mōe ê
kè-chng. Goán lāu-pē sī sè-kài-siōng siōng ta̍t-tit chun-kèng ê lâng. Goán
lāu-bú sí ê sî, ū lâu chi̍t nî la̍k-chheng franc ê nî-kim, lāu-pē tī tit-tio̍h
i ê chit-bū liáu, sûi kā chit pit nî-kim hō͘ sió-mōe kap góa pêⁿ-pun. Kàu góa
jī-cha̍p it hòe ê sî, lāu-pē koh tī góa hit pit siu-ji̍p téng-koân ke chi̍t nî
gō͘-chheng franc khí-lih, i kă khak-jīn kóng, chi̍t nî ū peh-chheng franc ê
nî-kim, góa nā koh tī hoat-lu̍t a̍h-sī i-ha̍k kài chhōe chi̍t ê chit-bū, án-ne
tī Paris tō ē-tàng chin hó kòe-ji̍t ah. Góa tō lâi-kàu Paris tha̍k hoat-lu̍t,
tit-tio̍h lu̍t-su chu-keh, tō ná-chhiūⁿ kî-thaⁿ siàu-liân-lâng kāng-khoán, kā
bûn-pîn khǹg lak-tē-á té, tī Paris bo̍k-bo̍k siû, kòe tio̍h khin-sang lám-nōa ê
seng-oa̍h.
Góa iōng-chîⁿ chin séng, m̄-koh nî-kim kan-ta ū-kàu
iōng peh kò goe̍h, joa̍h-thiⁿ hit sì kò goe̍h góa tńg-chhù kap lāu-pē tòa,
án-ne tō ná-chhiūⁿ chi̍t nî ū chi̍t-bān nn̄g-chheng franc nî-kim kāng-khoán, jî-chhiáⁿ
koh tit-tio̍h koai-kiáⁿ ê hó miâ-siaⁿ, mā bián khiàm lâng chi̍t sén chîⁿ.
Che tō sī góa hām Marguerite se̍k-sāi hit sî ê
chōng-hóng. Lí tiāⁿ-tio̍h siūⁿ ē-kàu, góa ê khai-siau chū-jiân tō giâ-koân ah.
Marguerite seⁿ-chò chin jīm-sèng, i hām chin chē cha-bó͘ kāng-khoán, lóng bô kā
seng-oa̍h tiong pah-pah chióng ê gô͘-lo̍k só͘ su-iàu ê khai-siau khòaⁿ chāi
gán-lāi. Kiat-kó neh, i chīn-liōng chhōe sî-kan, tō sī siūⁿ boeh kap góa
chò-hóe seng-oa̍h, i ē tī chá-khí siá phe hō͘ góa, kóng boeh kap góa tâng-chê
chia̍h-pn̄g, m̄-sī tī chhù nih, sī boeh tī Paris a̍h-sī chng-kha ê chhan-thiaⁿ.
Góa tō ài khì chiap i, chò-hóe chia̍h-pn̄g, liáu-āu koh khì khòaⁿ-hì, óng-óng
mā koh chia̍h siau-iā. Án-ne kàu àm-sî, góa tio̍h ài khai tiāu sì-gō͘ ê louis (1
ê louis = 20 franc), iā tio̍h sī chi̍t kò goe̍h góa tio̍h khai nn̄g-saⁿ chheng
franc, saⁿ kò pòaⁿ goe̍h nî-kim tō khai-liáu ah, nā m̄-sī ài khiàm-siàu, tō sī
ài lī-khui Marguerite. Ta̍k-hāng góa lóng ē-sái, tō sī bē-sái lī-khui
Marguerite.
Pháiⁿ-sè, góa kóng kah chiah-ê iù-sap-á hō͘ lí
thiaⁿ, m̄-koh án-ne lí chiah ē chai āu-lâi tāi-chì ê in-toaⁿ. Góa kóng ê sī
chin-si̍t koh kán-tan ê kò͘-sū, góa ê kóng-hoat pó-liû tio̍h sûn-phoh ê sè-chiat
kap kán-tan bêng-liâu ê hoat-tián kòe-thêng.
Chū án-ne, góa bêng-pe̍k, sè-kài siōng bô siáⁿ
mi̍h-kiāⁿ ē-tàng hō͘ góa pàng bē-kì Marguerite, án-ne góa tio̍h ài chhōe
pān-hoat lâi tùi-hù góa ūi-tio̍h i ê khai-siau. Lēng-gōa, ūi-tio̍h i ê ài, góa
í-keng sī ná siáu--ê, nā bô kap i chò-hóe, góa tō͘-ji̍t tō ná tō͘-nî, góa
kám-kak ū su-iàu iōng bó͘-chióng ē hō͘ góa jia̍t-sim ê hong-hoat lâi siau-mô͘
chit-chióng sî-kan, án-ne chiah ē-tàng kín-kín kòe-liáu ū-thé-bô-hûn ê
ji̍t-chí.
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第 16 章
16.1
我本來 mā 會使干焦用幾句話 kā 你講阮熟似 ê 起步, 毋過我想欲予你知影每一步, 是按怎我 hiah-nī 聽 Marguerite
ê 話, koh
Marguerite 無我伊 tō 活袂落去.
我是 tī 伊來阮兜彼暝 ê 第二工, 我送伊 "Manon Lescaut" 這本冊.
看著我無法度改變阮情婦 ê 生活彼陣開始, 我 tō 改變我家己 ê 生活. 自 án-ne, 我盡量莫去想我 ê 身份, 免得心情鬱悶. 我 kā 本來平靜 ê 生活變甲鬧熱 koh 混亂. 你千萬毋通想講, 交際花 ê 愛 nā 毋是為著錢 tō 毋免開錢. 情婦總是興趣百百種: 花束, 劇場包廂, 宵夜, 去庄跤 thit-thô; chiah-ê 要求咱攏袂使拒絕, chiah-ê koh 攏夭壽貴.
我講過, 我無啥錢. 阮老爸過去 kap 今攏是 C 城市 ê 稅務長. 伊 tī 遐做人真忠厚, 名聲好, 因為 án-ne, 伊會當借著擔任這个職位 ê 保證金.
這个職位一年會當收入四萬 franc, 十年來, 伊已經 kā 保證金還了 ah, 猶有存阮小妹 ê 嫁粧. 阮老爸是世界上上值得尊敬 ê 人. 阮老母死 ê 時, 有留一年六千 franc ê 年金, 老爸 tī 得著伊 ê 職務了, 隨 kā 這筆年金予小妹 kap 我平分. 到我二十一歲 ê 時, 老爸 koh tī 我彼筆收入頂懸加一年五千 franc 起 lih, 伊 kă 確認講, 一年有八千 franc ê 年金, 我 nā koh tī 法律抑是醫學界揣一个職務, án-ne tī Paris tō 會當真好過日 ah. 我 tō 來到 Paris 讀法律, 得著律師資格, tō 若像其他少年人仝款, kā 文憑囥 lak 袋仔底, tī Paris 沐沐泅, 過著輕鬆 lám-nōa ê 生活.
我用錢真省, 毋過年金干焦有夠用八個月, 熱天彼四個月我轉厝 kap 老爸蹛, án-ne tō 若像一年有一萬兩千 franc 年金仝款, 而且 koh 得著乖囝 ê 好名聲, mā 免欠人一 sén 錢.
這 tō 是我和 Marguerite 熟似彼時 ê 狀況. 你定著想會到, 我 ê 開銷自然 tō 夯懸 ah. Marguerite 生做真任性, 伊和真濟查某仝款, 攏無 kā 生活中百百種 ê 娛樂所需要 ê 開銷看在眼內. 結果 neh, 伊盡量揣時間, tō 是想欲 kap 我做伙生活, 伊會 tī 早起寫批予我, 講欲 kap 我同齊食飯, 毋是 tī 厝 nih, 是欲 tī Paris 抑是庄跤 ê 餐廳. 我 tō 愛去接伊, 做伙食飯, 了後 koh 去看戲, 往往 mā koh 食宵夜. Án-ne 到暗時, 我著愛開掉四五个 louis (1 个 louis = 20 franc), 也著是一個月我著開兩三千 franc, 三個半月年金 tō 開了 ah, nā 毋是愛欠數, tō 是愛離開 Marguerite. 逐項我攏會使, tō 是袂使離開 Marguerite.
歹勢, 我講甲 chiah-ê 幼屑仔予你聽, 毋過 án-ne 你才會知後來代誌 ê 因端. 我講 ê 是真實 koh 簡單 ê 故事, 我 ê 講法保留著純樸 ê 細節 kap 簡單明瞭 ê 發展過程.
自 án-ne, 我明白, 世界上無啥物件會當予我放袂記 Marguerite, án-ne 我著愛揣辦法來對付我為著伊 ê 開銷. 另外, 為著伊 ê 愛, 我已經是 ná 痟 ê, nā 無 kap 伊做伙, 我渡日 tō ná 渡年, 我感覺有需要用某種會予我熱心 ê 方法來消磨這種時間, án-ne 才會當緊緊過了有體無魂 ê 日子.
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Chapter 16
16.1
I might have told you of the beginning of this liaison in a few lines, but I wanted you to see every step by which we came, I to agree to whatever Marguerite wished, Marguerite to be unable to live apart from me.
It was the day after the evening when she came to see me that I sent her Manon Lescaut.
From that time, seeing that I could not change my mistress's life, I changed my own. I wished above all not to leave myself time to think over the position I had accepted, for, in spite of myself, it was a great distress to me. Thus my life, generally so calm, assumed all at once an appearance of noise and disorder. Never believe, however disinterested the love of a kept woman may be, that it will cost one nothing. Nothing is so expensive as their caprices, flowers, boxes at the theatre, suppers, days in the country, which one can never refuse to one's mistress.
As I have told you, I had little money. My father was, and still is, receveur general at C. He has a great reputation there for loyalty, thanks to which he was able to find the security which he needed in order to attain this position.
It is worth forty thousand francs a year, and during the ten years that he has had it, he has paid off the security and put aside a dowry for my sister. My father is the most honourable man in the world. When my mother died, she left six thousand francs a year, which he divided between my sister and myself on the very day when he received his appointment; then, when I was twenty-one, he added to this little income an annual allowance of five thousand francs, assuring me that with eight thousand francs a year I might live very happily at Paris, if, in addition to this, I would make a position for myself either in law or medicine. I came to Paris, studied law, was called to the bar, and, like many other young men, put my diploma in my pocket, and let myself drift, as one so easily does in Paris.
My expenses were very moderate; only I used up my year's income in eight months, and spent the four summer months with my father, which practically gave me twelve thousand francs a year, and, in addition, the reputation of a good son. For the rest, not a penny of debt.
This, then, was my position when I made the acquaintance of Marguerite. You can well understand that, in spite of myself, my expenses soon increased. Marguerite's nature was very capricious, and, like so many women, she never regarded as a serious expense those thousand and one distractions which made up her life. So, wishing to spend as much time with me as possible, she would write to me in the morning that she would dine with me, not at home, but at some restaurant in Paris or in the country. I would call for her, and we would dine and go on to the theatre, often having supper as well; and by the end of the evening I had spent four or five louis, which came to two or three thousand francs a month, which reduced my year to three months and a half, and made it necessary for me either to go into debt or to leave Marguerite. I would have consented to anything except the latter.
Forgive me if I give you all these details, but you will see that they were the cause of what was to follow. What I tell you is a true and story, and I leave to it all the naivete of its details and all the simplicity of its developments.
I realized then that as nothing in the world would make me forget my mistress, it was needful for me to find some way of meeting the expenses into which she drew me. Then, too, my love for her had so disturbing an influence upon me that every moment I spent away from Marguerite was like a year, and that I felt the need of consuming these moments in the fire of some sort of passion, and of living them so swiftly as not to know that I was living them.
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