10.2 Lí sī góa sèⁿ-miā su-iàu ê lâng
"Tùi cha-bó͘ pún-chiâⁿ tō͘ ài chun-tiōng;
siōng-bô góa sī án-ne siūⁿ."
"Lí kóng, lí boeh chiàu-kò͘ góa?"
"Tio̍h."
"Lí ē kui-kang pôe tī góa sin-piⁿ?"
"Tio̍h."
"Kò͘ kui àm-mê?"
"Chí-iàu lí bô khì-hiâm góa."
"Che sī siáⁿ kám-chêng ah?"
"Ūi lí hōng-hiàn."
"Chit chióng hōng-hiàn ùi tó lâi ê?"
"In-ūi góa tùi lí ū bô hoat-tō͘ khek-chè ê tông-chêng."
"Lí sī ài tio̍h góa sioh? Ti̍t-chiap án-ne
kóng, m̄-sī khah kan-tan?"
"Ū khó-lêng; ū chi̍t kang góa ē kā lí kóng
che, m̄-koh m̄-sī kin-á-ji̍t."
"Siōng-hó lí lóng mài kā góa kóng che."
"Sī án-chóaⁿ?"
"In-ūi án-ne kóng, kan-ta ū nn̄g chióng
kiat-kó."
"Siáⁿ kiat-kó?"
"M̄-sī góa kī-choa̍t, hō͘ lí oàn-hūn góa;
tō-sī góa chiap-siū, hō͘ lí ū chi̍t ê ai-oàn ê chêng-hū: chi̍t ê sîn-keng-chit,
ū-pēⁿ, pi-siong, a̍h-sī hoaⁿ-hí kún-chhiò ê sî khah chhám kòe pi-siong ê
cha-bó͘, chi̍t ê khe̍ⁿh-hoeh, chi̍t nî ài khai cha̍p-bān franc ê cha-bó͘. Tùi
chhiūⁿ kong-chiok hit khoán hó-gia̍h lāu-lâng bô būn-tê, m̄-koh tùi lí chit
khoán siàu-liân tō chin chia̍h-la̍t. Kòe-khì góa ê siàu-liân ài-jîn lóng chin
kín tō lī-khui góa, che tō-sī chèng-bêng."
Góa tiām-tiām thiaⁿ, bô kā ìn. Chit chióng ná chhàm-hóe
ê thán-pe̍h, hō͘ góa khòaⁿ tio̍h i khàm tī kim-se ē-bīn ê pi-siong seng-oa̍h;
ūi tio̍h cháu-phiah hiān-si̍t, chit ê khó-liân ê ko͘-niû chí-hó óa-khò
hòng-tōng, lim-chiú, kap sit-bîn. Chāi-chāi hō͘ góa kám-khài, só͘-tì chi̍t kù
ōe mā kóng bē chhut-lâi.
"Hó lah," i koh kóng, "lán kóng che
lóng ná gín-á ōe. Chhiú hŏa khan, lán tńg lâi-khì pn̄g-thiaⁿ. In ē kî-koài lán
ná ē lī-khui hiah kú."
"Nā boeh, lí seng khì; chhiáⁿ ín-chún góa lâu
tī chia."
"Sī án-chóaⁿ?"
"In-ūi lí ê khoài-lo̍k hō͘ góa chin kan-khó͘."
"Nā án-ne, góa tō ài pi-siong."
"Marguerite, góa kā lí kóng chi̍t kù ōe; che
pa̍t-lâng it-tēng tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ kā lí kóng, in-ūi tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ thiaⁿ tio̍h, góa siūⁿ
lí í-keng bē siong-sìn ah. M̄-koh che sī góa chin-sim ê ōe, góa mā bē koh kā lí
kóng tē jī piàn."
"Sī siáⁿ-mih ōe?" i kóng, chhùi bâ-bún
chhiò, ná-chhiūⁿ siàu-liân lāu-bú teh thiaⁿ gín-á kā kóng gōng-ōe.
"Sī án-ne, chū góa khòaⁿ tio̍h lí, m̄-chai sī
án-chóaⁿ, lí tō ji̍p tī góa ê sèⁿ-miā nih; góa tō bô hoat-tō͘ kā góa tùi lí ê
su-liām kóaⁿ-chhut; kin-á-ji̍t, keng-kòe nn̄g nî bô sio-kìⁿ liáu, koh khòaⁿ
tio̍h lí, lí hō͘ góa ê sim kap chêng koh-khah chhim ê ìn-siōng; taⁿ lí ín-chún
góa lâi chia khòaⁿ lí, góa koh-khah bat tio̍h lí, taⁿ góa chai-iáⁿ lí it-chhè
tek-su ê cho-gū, lí í-keng sī góa sèⁿ-miā tiong só͘ su-iàu ê lâng lah, m̄-nā
kóng lí bô boeh ài góa, sīm-chì kóng lí put-chún góa ài lí, lí lóng ē hō͘ góa
khí-siáu."
"M̄-koh, lí chit ê gōng tōa-tai ah, góa ài
chhiūⁿ D Hj [Hu-jîn] án-ne kā lí kóng, 'Lí tio̍h ài chin hó-gia̍h leh!' Án-chóaⁿ kóng,
lí kám m̄-chai, góa chi̍t kò-goe̍h tio̍h khai la̍k-chhit chheng franc, bô
chiah-ê góa bô hoat-tō͘ oa̍h; khó-liân ê pêng-iú ah, lí m̄-chai, góa chin kín
tō ē hō͘ lí phò-sán, koh-kóng, lí nā chham góa chit chióng cha-bó͘ chò-hóe, lín
tau ê lâng mā ē kā lí kóaⁿ chhut-mn̂g. Lán chò pêng-iú tō hó, chò hó pêng-iú.
Lí ē-tàng lâi khòaⁿ góa, hām góa kún-chhiò, kóng-ōe, mài kā góa khòaⁿ-kah hiah
tāng, góa bô ta̍t-tit án-ne. Lí chin hó-sim, lí ài ū-lâng ài lí, lí siuⁿ
siàu-liân koh siuⁿ tāng-kám-chêng, bô ha̍h-tit góa ê sè-kài. Lí khòaⁿ, góa
í-keng ná pêng-iú kā lí kóng-kah chiah thán-pe̍k."
"Taⁿ, lín sī tī chia pìⁿ-siáⁿ-báng?"
Prudence hoah kóng, i bô-siaⁿ bô-soeh kiâⁿ ji̍p-lâi, khiā tī mn̂g-kháu,
thâu-chang jî-cháng-cháng, saⁿ-á bô liú hó. Góa chi̍t khòaⁿ tō chai, che sī
Gaston teh chok-koài.
"Goán teh thó-lūn tāi-chì," Marguerite
kóng, "mài kiáu-jiáu, goán liâm-mi tō lâi lah."
"Hó, hó! Siàu-liân ê, lín kè-sio̍k kóng,"
Prudence ná kóng ná kiâⁿ chhut-khì, koh kā mn̂g koaiⁿ khí-lâi, ká-ná sī teh
ka-kiông i tú-chiah kóng ê ōe.
"Hm, án-ne hó lah," Marguerite tī kan-ta
chhun goán ê sî kè-sio̍k kóng, "lí bē ài tio̍h góa hoⁿh?"
"Góa ē sûi lī-khui."
"Ū hiah-nī giâm-tiōng?"
--
10.2
"對查某本成 tō 愛尊重; 上無我是 án-ne 想."
"你講, 你欲照顧我?"
"著."
"你會規工陪 tī 我身邊?"
"著."
"顧規暗暝?"
"只要你無棄嫌我."
"這是啥感情 ah?"
"為你奉獻."
"這種奉獻 ùi 佗來 ê?"
"因為我對你有無法度克制 ê 同情."
"你是愛著我 sioh? 直接 án-ne 講, 毋是較簡單?"
"有可能; 有一工我會 kā 你講這, 毋過毋是今仔日."
"上好你攏莫 kā 我講這."
"是按怎?"
"因為 án-ne 講, 干焦有兩種結果."
"啥結果?"
"毋是我拒絕, 予你怨恨我; tō 是我接受, 予你有一个哀怨 ê 情婦: 一个神經質, 有病, 悲傷, 抑是歡喜滾笑 ê 時較慘過悲傷 ê 查某, 一个喀血, 一年愛開十萬 franc ê 查某. 對像公爵彼款好額老人無問題, 毋過對你這款少年 tō 真食力. 過去我 ê 少年愛人攏真緊 tō 離開我, 這 tō 是證明."
我恬恬聽, 無 kā 應. 這種 ná 懺悔 ê 坦白, 予我看著伊崁 tī 金紗下面 ê 悲傷生活; 為著走避現實, 這个可憐 ê 姑娘只好倚靠放蕩, 啉酒, kap 失眠. 在在予我感慨, 所致一句話 mā 講袂出來.
"好
lah," 伊 koh 講,
"咱講這攏 ná 囡仔話. 手 hőa 牽, 咱轉來去飯廳. In 會奇怪咱 ná 會離開 hiah 久."
"Nā 欲, 你先去; 請允准我留 tī 遮."
"是按怎?"
"因為你 ê 快樂予我真艱苦."
"Nā án-ne, 我 tō 愛悲傷."
"Marguerite, 我 kā 你講一句話; 這別人一定定定 kā 你講, 因為定定聽著, 我想你已經袂相信 ah. 毋過這是我真心 ê 話, 我 mā 袂 koh kā
你講第二遍."
"是啥物話?" 伊講, 喙麻吻笑, 若像少年老母 teh 聽囡仔 kā 講戇話.
"是 án-ne,
自我看著你, 毋知是按怎, 你 tō 入 tī 我 ê 性命 nih; 我 tō 無法度 kā 我對你 ê 思念趕出; 今仔日, 經過兩年無相見了, koh 看著你, 你予我 ê 心 kap 情閣較深 ê 印象; 今你允准我來遮看你, 我閣較捌著你, 今我知影你一切特殊 ê 遭遇, 你已經是我性命中所需要 ê 人 lah, 毋但講你無欲愛我, 甚至講你不准我愛你, 你攏會予我起痟."
"毋過, 你這个戇大呆 ah, 我愛像 D Hj [夫人] án-ne kā 你講, '你著愛真好額 leh!' 按怎講, 你敢毋知, 我一個月著開六七千 franc, 無 chiah-ê 我無法度活; 可憐 ê 朋友 ah, 你毋知, 我真緊 tō 會予你破產, 閣講, 你 nā 參我這種查某做伙, 恁兜 ê 人 mā 會 kā 你趕出門. 咱做朋友 tō 好, 做好朋友. 你會當來看我, 和我滾笑, 講話, 莫 kā 我看甲 hiah 重, 我無值得 án-ne. 你真好心, 你愛有人愛你, 你 siuⁿ 少年 koh siuⁿ 重感情, 無合得我 ê 世界. 你看, 我已經 ná 朋友 kā 你講甲 chiah 坦白."
"今, 恁是 tī 遮變啥蠓?" Prudence 喝講, 伊無聲無說行入來, 徛 tī 門口, 頭鬃 jî-chháng-chháng, 衫仔無紐好. 我一看 tō 知, 這是 Gaston teh 作怪.
"阮 teh 討論代誌," Marguerite 講, "莫攪擾, 阮 liâm-mi tō 來
lah."
"好, 好! 少年 ê, 恁繼續講," Prudence ná 講 ná 行出去, koh kā 門關起來, 敢若是 teh 加強伊拄才講 ê 話.
"Hm, án-ne 好 lah,"
Marguerite tī 干焦賰阮 ê 時繼續講, "你袂愛著我 hoⁿh?"
"我會隨離開."
"有
hiah-nī 嚴重?"
--
10.2
"One must always be particular with a woman; it is what I feel, at least."
"So you would look after me?"
"Yes."
"You would stay by me all day?"
"Yes."
"And even all night?"
"As long as I did not weary you."
"And what do you call that?"
"Devotion."
"And what does this devotion come from?"
"The irresistible sympathy which I have for you."
"So you are in love with me? Say it straight out, it is much more simple."
"It is possible; but if I am to say it to you one day, it is not to-day."
"You will do better never to say it."
"Why?"
"Because only one of two things can come of it."
"What?"
"Either I shall not accept: then you will have a grudge against me; or I shall accept: then you will have a sorry mistress; a woman who is nervous, ill, sad, or gay with a gaiety sadder than grief, a woman who spits blood and spends a hundred thousand francs a year. That is all very well for a rich old man like the duke, but it is very bad for a young man like you, and the proof of it is that all the young lovers I have had have very soon left me."
I did not answer; I listened. This frankness, which was almost a kind of confession, the sad life, of which I caught some glimpse through the golden veil which covered it, and whose reality the poor girl sought to escape in dissipation, drink, and wakefulness, impressed me so deeply that I could not utter a single word.
"Come," continued Marguerite, "we are talking mere childishness. Give me your arm and let us go back to the dining-room. They won't know what we mean by our absence."
"Go in, if you like, but allow me to stay here."
"Why?"
"Because your mirth hurts me."
"Well, I will be sad."
"Marguerite, let me say to you something which you have no doubt often heard, so often that the habit of hearing it has made you believe it no longer, but which is none the less real, and which I will never repeat."
"And that is . . . ?" she said, with the smile of a young mother listening to some foolish notion of her child.
"It is this, that ever since I have seen you, I know not why, you have taken a place in my life; that, if I drive the thought of you out of my mind, it always comes back; that when I met you to-day, after not having seen you for two years, you made a deeper impression on my heart and mind than ever; that, now that you have let me come to see you, now that I know you, now that I know all that is strange in you, you have become a necessity of my life, and you will drive me mad, not only if you will not love me, but if you will not let me love you."
"But, foolish creature that you are, I shall say to you, like Mme. D., 'You must be very rich, then!' Why, you don't know that I spend six or seven thousand francs a month, and that I could not live without it; you don't know, my poor friend, that I should ruin you in no time, and that your family would cast you off if you were to live with a woman like me. Let us be friends, good friends, but no more. Come and see me, we will laugh and talk, but don't exaggerate what I am worth, for I am worth very little. You have a good heart, you want some one to love you, you are too young and too sensitive to live in a world like mine. Take a married woman. You see, I speak to you frankly, like a friend."
"But what the devil are you doing there?" cried Prudence, who had come in without our hearing her, and who now stood just inside the door, with her hair half coming down and her dress undone. I recognised the hand of Gaston.
"We are talking sense," said Marguerite; "leave us alone; we will be back soon."
"Good, good! Talk, my children," said Prudence, going out and closing the door behind her, as if to further empbasize the tone in which she had said these words.
"Well, it is agreed," continued Marguerite, when we were alone, "you won't fall in love with me?"
"I will go away."
"So much as that?"
--
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