10.3 Lán nā chò ài-jîn, ē piàn siáⁿ khoán
Góa bô hoat-tō͘ koh hôe-thâu; góa í-keng sit-hûn
lo̍k-phek ah. Chit chióng khoài-lo̍k, pi-siong, sûn-chêng, kap chêng-io̍k ê
hūn-ha̍p, koh ū, i ê pēⁿ hō͘ i kám-chêng bín-kám, sîn-keng kòe-bín, chiah-ê
lóng hō͘ góa bêng-pe̍k, chi̍t khai-sí góa nā lia̍h bē tio̍h chit ê pún-sèng
khin-po̍k koh bô-thâu-sîn ê cha-bó͘, góa tō ē sit-khì i.
"Ai-ah, tàu-té lí só͘ kóng ê sī-m̄-sī lí
chin-sim ê ōe?"
"Góa sī chin-sim."
"Sī án-chóaⁿ lí bô khah chá kă kóng?"
"Lí boeh kiò góa tang-sî kóng?"
"Tī Comique Kio̍k-tiûⁿ lí hông kài-siāu hō͘
góa ê keh-tńg kang."
"Góa siūⁿ-kóng, góa nā khì chhōe lí, lí eng-kai
bē chiap-la̍p góa."
"Án-chóaⁿ kóng?"
"In-ūi hit-kang góa piáu-hiān chin
giàn-thâu."
"Bô m̄-tio̍h. M̄-koh, lí í-keng ài tio̍h góa
lah."
"Tio̍h."
"Án-ne, lí iáu ē-tàng an-an-ún-ún tńg-chhù
khùn chi̍t-mê. Lán lóng chai, chit chióng ài-chêng tàu-té sī siáⁿ ì-sù."
"Che, lí bô liáu-kái. Lí kám chai, lī-khui
Comique Kio̍k-tiûⁿ liáu góa chhòng siáⁿ?"
"Góa m̄-chai."
"Góa tī Anglais Kapi-thiaⁿ mn̂g-kháu tán lí.
Góa koh tòe lí hām lín saⁿ ê pêng-iú chē ê bé-chhia, tán góa khòaⁿ tio̍h kan-ta
lí lo̍h bé-chhia, ka-tī tńg-chhù, góa kám-kak chiok an-ùi."
Marguerite khai-sí chhiò.
"Lí teh chhiò siáⁿ?"
"Bô siáⁿ."
"Kín kóng, góa boeh chai-iáⁿ, nā bô, góa ē
siūⁿ-kóng lí sī teh chhiò góa."
"Lí bē siū-khì hoⁿh?"
"Góa ná ū siū-khì ê khoân-lī?"
"Hm, góa ka-tī tńg-chhù, in-ūi ū chi̍t ê chin
hó ê lí-iû."
"Siáⁿ lí-iû?"
"Chhù-nih ū lâng teh tán góa."
Góa sim thiàⁿ-kah pí hō͘ i iōng to-á tu̍h-tio̍h
koh-khah lī-hāi. Góa khiā khí-lâi, chhun chhiú hō͘ i, kóng:
"Chài-hōe."
"Góa chá tō chai, lí ē siū-khì," i kóng;
"cha-po͘-lâng chóng-sī kip boeh chai ē hō͘ in thòng-khó͘ ê tāi-chì."
"M̄-koh, góa kā lí pó-chèng," góa
léng-léng koh kóng, ká-ná boeh chèng-bêng góa í-keng oân-choân khòng-chè góa ê
kek-chêng, "Góa pó-chèng góa bô siū-khì. Ū lâng teh tán lí, he sī chū-jiân
ê tāi-chì, tō ná góa thàu-chá saⁿ tiám ài kò-sî kāng-khoán chū-jiân."
"Lí kám mā ū lâng teh tán lí?"
"Bô, m̄-koh góa ài lâi-khì ah."
"Nā án-ne, chài-hōe lah."
"Lí ài góa lī-khui?"
"Bô hit khoán tāi-chì."
"Án-chóaⁿ lí hō͘ góa chiah thòng-khó͘?"
"Góa hō͘ lí thòng-khó͘?"
"Lí kă kóng, ū lâng teh tán lí tńg-chhù."
"Góa tòng bē-tiâu chhiò chhut-lâi, in-ūi lí
kóng khòaⁿ góa ka-tī tńg-chhù lí kám-kak an-ùi, m̄-koh góa án-ne sī ū lí-iû
ê."
"Lán tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ ūi-tio̍h sió tāi-chì hoaⁿ-hí,
nā mài hông kóng-phòa, lán tō kè-sio̍k hoaⁿ-hí; m̄-koh nā kā chit chióng
hoaⁿ-hí phah-phòa, he tō chiok ok-to̍k."
"M̄-koh, lí siūⁿ kóng góa sī siáⁿ-khoán lâng?
Góa m̄-sī chāi-sek-lú, mā m̄-sī kong-chiok hu-jîn. Góa kàu kin-á-ji̍t chiah bat
lí, góa ê hêng-ûi kap lí ū siáⁿ tī-tāi? Chún-kóng góa sī lí ê chêng-hū, lí mā
ài chai, góa iáu ē ū pa̍t-ê ài-jîn. Lí iáu m̄-sī góa ê ài-jîn tō chiah-nī ài
chia̍h-chhò͘, í-āu bān-it nā chò ài-jîn, ē piàn siáⁿ-khoán neh? Góa chū-lâi
m̄-bat tú tio̍h lí chit khoán lâng."
"Che sī in-ūi bô lâng bat chhiūⁿ góa chiah-nī
ài lí lah."
"Láu-si̍t kóng, lí chin ê ài góa?"
"Góa siong-sìn, ài-kah bô thêng-tō͘ ah."
"Che sī chū tang-sî khai-sí ê?"
"Saⁿ nî chêng, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h lí kiâⁿ ji̍p
Susse ê tiàm hit kang khai-sí."
"Lí chai bô, che ū-kàu bí-miāu? Hm, góa ài
án-chóaⁿ pò-tap lí?"
"Hō͘ góa chi̍t tiám-á ài," góa kóng, góa
ê sim-koaⁿ thiàu-kah góa kiông boeh bē kóng-ōe; sui-jiân tī kau-tâm tiong-kan i
it-ti̍t liû-lō͘ chhut bô-iàu-bô-kín ê chhiò-iông, góa kám-kak Marguerite kap
góa kāng-khoán, khai-sí kín-tiuⁿ khí-lâi, góa só͘ kî-thāi ê sî-kan tō boeh kàu
lah.
"Hm, kong-chiok boeh án-chóaⁿ?"
"Tó chi̍t ê kong-chiok?"
"Góa hit ê ài chia̍h-chhò͘ ê lāu
kong-chiok."
"Lán mài hō͘ chai."
"I nā chai neh?"
"I ē goân-liōng lí."
--
10.3
我無法度 koh 回頭; 我已經失魂落魄 ah. 這種快樂, 悲傷, 純情, kap 情慾 ê 混合, koh 有, 伊 ê 病予伊感情敏感, 神經過敏, chiah-ê 攏予我明白, 一開始我 nā 掠袂著這个本性輕薄 koh 無頭神 ê 查某, 我 tō 會失去伊.
"Ai-ah, 到底你所講 ê 是毋是你真心 ê 話?"
"我是真心."
"是按怎你無較早 kă 講?"
"你欲叫我當時講?"
"Tī Comique 劇場你 hông 介紹予我 ê 隔轉工."
"我想講, 我 nā 去揣你, 你應該袂接納我."
"按怎講?"
"因為彼工我表現真癮頭."
"無毋著. 毋過, 你已經愛著我 lah."
"著."
"Án-ne, 你猶會當安安穩隱轉厝睏一暝. 咱攏知, 這種愛情到底是啥意思."
"這, 你無了解. 你敢知, 離開 Comique 劇場了我創啥?"
"我毋知."
"我 tī
Anglais Kapi 廳門口等你. 我 koh 綴你和恁三个朋友坐 ê 馬車, 等我看著干焦你落馬車, 家己轉厝, 我感覺足安慰."
Marguerite 開始笑.
"你 teh 笑啥?"
"無啥."
"緊講, 我欲知影, nā 無, 我會想講你是 teh 笑我."
"你袂受氣 hoⁿh?"
"我 ná 有受氣 ê 權利?"
"Hm, 我家己轉厝, 因為有一个真好 ê 理由."
"啥理由?"
"厝 nih 有人 teh 等我."
我心疼甲比予伊用刀仔 tu̍h 著閣較厲害. 我徛起來, 伸手予伊, 講:
"再會."
"我早 tō 知, 你會受氣," 伊講; "查埔人總是急欲知會予 in 痛苦 ê 代誌."
"毋過, 我 kā 你保證," 我冷冷 koh 講, 敢若欲證明我已經完全控制我 ê 激情, "我保證我無受氣. 有人 teh 等你, 彼是自然 ê 代誌, tō ná 我透早三點愛告辭仝款自然."
"你敢 mā 有人 teh 等你?"
"無, 毋過我愛來去 ah."
"Nā án-ne, 再會 lah."
"你愛我離開?"
"無彼款代誌."
"按怎你予我 chiah 痛苦?"
"我予你痛苦?"
"你 kă 講, 有人 teh 等你轉厝."
"我擋袂牢笑出來, 因為你講看我家己轉厝你感覺安慰, 毋過我 án-ne 是有理由 ê."
"咱定定為著小代誌歡喜, nā 莫 hông 講破, 咱 tō 繼續歡喜; 毋過 nā kā 這種歡喜拍破, 彼 tō 足惡毒."
"毋過, 你想講我是啥款人? 我毋是在室女, mā 毋是公爵夫人. 我到今仔日才捌你, 我 ê 行為 kap 你有啥底代? 準講我是你 ê 情婦, 你 mā 愛知, 我猶會有別个愛人. 你猶毋是我 ê 愛人 tō chiah-nī 愛食醋, 以後萬一 nā 做愛人, 會變啥款 neh? 我自來毋 bat 拄著你這款人."
"這是因為無人 bat 像我 chiah-nī 愛你 lah."
"老實講, 你真 ê 愛我?"
"我相信, 愛甲無程度 ah."
"這是自當時開始 ê?"
"三年前, 我看著你行入 Susse ê 店彼工開始."
"你知無, 這有夠美妙? Hm, 我愛按怎報答你?"
"予我一點仔愛," 我講, 我 ê 心肝跳甲我強欲袂講話; 雖然 tī 交談中間伊一直流露出無要無緊 ê 笑容, 我感覺 Marguerite kap 我仝款, 開始緊張起來, 我所期待 ê 時間 tō 欲到 lah.
"Hm, 公爵欲按怎?"
"佗一个公爵?"
"我彼个愛食醋 ê 老公爵."
"咱莫予知."
"伊 nā 知
neh?"
"伊會原諒你."
--
10.3
I had gone too far to draw back; and I was really carried away. This mingling of gaiety, sadness, candour, prostitution, her very malady, which no doubt developed in her a sensitiveness to impressions, as well as an irritability of nerves, all this made it clear to me that if from the very beginning I did not completely dominate her light and forgetful nature, she was lost to me.
"Come, now, do you seriously mean what you say?" she said.
"Seriously."
"But why didn't you say it to me sooner?"
"When could I have said it?"
"The day after you had been introduced to me at the Opera Comique."
"I thought you would have received me very badly if I had come to see you."
"Why?"
"Because I had behaved so stupidly."
"That's true. And yet you were already in love with me."
"Yes."
"And that didn't hinder you from going to bed and sleeping quite comfortably. One knows what that sort of love means."
"There you are mistaken. Do you know what I did that evening, after the Opera Comique?"
"No."
"I waited for you at the door of the Cafe Anglais. I followed the carriage in which you and your three friends were, and when I saw you were the only one to get down, and that you went in alone, I was very happy."
Marguerite began to laugh.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing."
"Tell me, I beg of you, or I shall think you are still laughing at me."
"You won't be cross?"
"What right have I to be cross?"
"Well, there was a sufficient reason why I went in alone."
"What?"
"Some one was waiting for me here."
If she had thrust a knife into me she would not have hurt me more. I rose, and holding out my hand, "Goodbye," said I.
"I knew you would be cross," she said; "men are frantic to know what is certain to give them pain."
"But I assure you," I added coldly, as if wishing to prove how completely I was cured of my passion, "I assure you that I am not cross. It was quite natural that some one should be waiting for you, just as it is quite natural that I should go from here at three in the morning."
"Have you, too, some one waiting for you?"
"No, but I must go."
"Good-bye, then."
"You send me away?"
"Not the least in the world."
"Why are you so unkind to me?"
"How have I been unkind to you?"
"In telling me that some one was waiting for you."
"I could not help laughing at the idea that you had been so happy to see me come in alone when there was such a good reason for it."
"One finds pleasure in childish enough things, and it is too bad to destroy such a pleasure when, by simply leaving it alone, one can make somebody so happy."
"But what do you think I am? I am neither maid nor duchess. I didn't know you till to-day, and I am not responsible to you for my actions. Supposing one day I should become your mistress, you are bound to know that I have had other lovers besides you. If you make scenes of jealousy like this before, what will it be after, if that after should ever exist? I never met any one like you."
"That is because no one has ever loved you as I love you."
"Frankly, then, you really love me?"
"As much as it is possible to love, I think."
"And that has lasted since--?"
"Since the day I saw you go into Susse's, three years ago.
"Do you know, that is tremendously fine? Well, what am I to do in return?"
"Love me a little," I said, my heart beating so that I could hardly speak; for, in spite of the half- mocking smiles with which she had accompanied the whole conversation, it seemed to me that Marguerite began to share my agitation, and that the hour so long awaited was drawing near.
"Well, but the duke?"
"What duke?"
"My jealous old duke."
"He will know nothing."
"And if he should?"
"He would forgive you."
--
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