10.1 這是無藥通醫 ê 病

Tē 10 Chiong

10,1 Che sī bô io̍h thang i ê pēⁿ

I bih--ji̍p-khì hit ê pâng-keng, kan-ta tiám chi̍t ki la̍h-chek. I thèⁿ tī chi̍t ê phòng-í téng, kā saⁿ-á tháu-khui, chi̍t chhiú hōaⁿ tī heng-khám, iáu chi̍t chhiú khòa tī sin-piⁿ. Toh-á téng ū chi̍t ê chúi móa-móa ê bīn-phûn, chúi nih ū hoeh-si.

Marguerite bīn-sek pe̍h-chhang-chhang, chhùi pòaⁿ-khui tōa-la̍t teh chhoán-khùi. I put-sî tōa-tōa thò͘ chi̍t ê khùi, án-ne i ká-ná sió-khóa khah khùiⁿ-oa̍h, ē-tit khin-sang chi̍t chām-á.

Góa kiâⁿ kàu i bīn-chêng; i bô tín-tāng, góa chē lo̍h-lâi, tēⁿ i khòa tī phòng-í ê hit ki chhiú.

"Ah! sī lí ah," i kóng, chhùi-kak chhiò chi̍t-ē.

Góa it-tēng khòaⁿ khí-lâi chin kín-tiuⁿ, in-ūi i koh kóng:

"Lí mā bô sóng-khoài sioh?"

"Bô lah, lí neh? lí iáu teh kan-khó͘ sioh?"

"Sió-khóa-á;" i iōng chhiú-kin-á kā in-ūi khām-sàu lâu chhut-lâi ê ba̍k-iû chhit-tiāu; "che góa lóng koàn-sì ah."

"Lí án-ne sī teh chū-sat, hu-jîn," góa iōng kek-tōng ê siaⁿ-tiāu kā i kóng. "góa nā sī lín pêng-iú a̍h-sī chhin-chiâⁿ, góa ē khǹg lí m̄-thang án-ne siong-hāi ka-tī."

"Ah! Lí si̍t-chāi m̄-bián ūi góa chhau-sim," i iōng chi̍t chióng ai-oàn ê siaⁿ-tiāu hôe-tap góa; "lí khòaⁿ pa̍t-lâng kám ū teh koan-sim góa! In lóng chai che sī bô io̍h thang i ê pēⁿ."

Chit sî i khiā khí-lâi, kā la̍h-chek the̍h khì khǹg tī piah-lô͘ téng, chiò-kiàⁿ khòaⁿ ka-tī.

"Góa bīn-á pe̍h sún-sún!" i kóng, ná kā saⁿ chhēng hó, iōng chéng-thâu-á póe loān khì ê thâu-chang. "Kiâⁿ, lán tńg-khì chia̍h siau-iā. Lí boeh kiâⁿ bô?"

Góa tiām-tiām chē tio̍h, bô tín-tāng.

I chai-iáⁿ góa chhim-chhim siū tio̍h chit ê chêng-kéng só͘ kám-tōng, tō kiâⁿ lâi góa piⁿ-á, chhun chhiú hō͘ góa, kóng:

"Lâi lah, lán chhut-khì."

Góa khan i ê chhiú, kā the̍h kàu góa ê chhùi-tûn, nn̄g tih ba̍k-sái jím bē-tiâu tih lo̍h tī i ê chhiú.

"Aih, lí chit ê gín-á!" i kóng, chē lo̍h-lâi góa ê sin-piⁿ. "Lí teh khàu! Sī án-chóaⁿ lah?"

"Lí khòaⁿ góa gōng-gōng, m̄-koh góa sī khì hō͘ tú-chiah khòaⁿ tio̍h ê tiûⁿ-bīn heh-kiaⁿ tio̍h."

"Lí chiâⁿ hó-sim! Lí kiò góa án-chóaⁿ hó? Góa khùn bē-itkhì, chí-hó ka-tī sió-khóa siau-khián chi̍t-ē. Koh-kóng, chhiūⁿ góa chit chióng cha-bó͘, ke chi̍t ê, kiám chi̍t ê, ū siáⁿ bô-kāng? I-seng kóng, góa khe̍ⁿh ê sī nâ-âu ê hoeh; góa ké-kúi siong-sìn in ê ōe; góa iáu ē-tàng án-chóaⁿ neh?"

"Thiaⁿ góa kóng, Marguerite," góa kóng, bô hoat-tō͘ koh am-khàm góa ê kám-chêng, "góa m̄-chai lí tùi góa ê sèⁿ-miā ē ū siáⁿ-mih éng-hióng, m̄-koh, chit ê sî-chūn góa só͘ koan-sim ê tō sī lí niā-niā, che chhiau-kòe jīm-hô lâng, sīm-chì góa ê chhin sió-mōe. Chū-chiông khòaⁿ tio̍h lí tō sī án-ne ah. Hm, khòaⁿ thiⁿ-kong-peh ê bīn-chú, hó-hó pó-tiōng ka-tī, m̄-thang koh kòe chit chióng seng-oa̍h lah."

"Góa nā chù-ì góa ē sin-thé, góa tian-tò ē sí khì. Góa sī khò chit chióng jia̍t-kông ê seng-oa̍h chiah oa̍h tio̍h. Chiàu-kò͘ sin-thé kan-ta tùi ū ka-têng, ū pêng-iú ê cha-bó͘ chiah ū ì-gī; chhiūⁿ goán, nā bô hoat-tō͘ hō͘ ài-jîn boán-chiok kap khoài-lo̍k, in tō ē pàng-sak goán, hō͘ goán pháiⁿ kòe-ji̍t, thoa tn̂g-mê. Che góa lóng chai. Góa phòa-pēⁿ nn̄g kò-goe̍h, kàu tē saⁿ lé-pài tō bô lâng koh lâi khòaⁿ góa ah."

"Tùi lí lâi kóng, góa bô sǹg siáⁿ, chin ê," góa kè-sio̍k kóng, "m̄-koh, jû-kó lí ín-chún, góa ē ná hiaⁿ-tī lâi chiàu-kò͘ lí, bē lī-khui lí ê sin-piⁿ, ē tī-hó lí ê pēⁿ. Tán lí sin-thé hó liáu, lí nā siūⁿ boeh, lí ē-sái koh kòe chit-chūn chit chióng seng-oa̍h; m̄-koh góa khak-tēng, lí ē khah kah-ì an-chēng ê seng-oa̍h, he ē hō͘ lí khah hoaⁿ-hí, hō͘ lí éng-oán bí-lē."

"E-àm lí án-ne siūⁿ, in-ūi lí lim-chiú liáu sim-sng, m̄-koh lí bē it-ti̍t ū lí taⁿ kóng ê hit chióng nāi-sim."

"Thiaⁿ góa kóng, Marguerite, lí kòe-khì phòa-pēⁿ nn̄g kò-goe̍h, hit nn̄g kò-goe̍h góa ta̍k-kang lóng lâi thàm-mn̄g lí ê pēⁿ-chêng."

"Bô m̄-tio̍h, lí ná m̄ chhiūⁿ-lâu lâi?"

"In-ūi hit-sî góa iáu m̄-bat lí."

"Tùi góa chit khoán cha-bó͘ lí ná tio̍h pháiⁿ-sè?"

--

第10 章

10.1 這是無藥通醫 ê 病

伊 bih 入去彼个房間, 干焦點一支蠟燭. 伊 thèⁿ tī 一个膨椅頂, kā 衫仔 tháu 開, 一手扞 tī 胸坎, 猶一手 khòa tī 身邊. 桌仔頂有一个水滿滿 ê 面盆, 水 nih 有血絲.

Marguerite 面色白蔥蔥, 喙半開大力 teh 喘氣. 伊不時大大吐一个氣, án-ne 伊敢若小可較快活, 會得輕鬆一站仔.

我行到伊面前; 伊無振動, 我坐落來, 捏伊 khòa tī 膨椅 ê 彼支手.

"Ah! 是你 ah," 伊講, 喙角笑一下.

我一定看起來真緊張, 因為伊 koh 講:

"你 mā 無爽快 sioh?"

"無 lah, 你 neh? 你猶 teh 艱苦 sioh?"

"小可仔;" 伊用手巾仔 kā 因為 khām 嗽流出來 ê 目油拭掉; "這我攏慣勢 ah."

"你 án-ne 是 teh 自殺, 夫人," 我用激動 ê 聲調 kā 伊講. "我 nā 是恁朋友抑是親 chiâⁿ, 我會勸你毋通 án-ne 傷害家己."

"Ah! 你實在毋免為我操心," 伊用一種哀怨 ê 聲調回答我; "你看別人敢有 teh 關心我! In 攏知這是無藥通醫 ê 病."

這時伊徛起來, kā 蠟燭提去囥 tī 壁爐頂, 照鏡看家己.

"我面仔白筍筍!" 伊講, ná kā 衫穿好, 用指頭仔掰亂去 ê 頭鬃. "行, 咱轉去食宵夜. 你欲行無?"

我恬恬坐著, 無振動.

伊知影我深深受著這个情境所感動, tō 行來我邊仔, 伸手予我, 講:

"來 lah, 咱出去."

我牽伊 ê 手, 提到我 ê 喙脣. 兩滴目屎忍袂牢滴落 tī 伊 ê 手.

"Aih, 你這个囡仔!" 伊講, 坐落來我 ê 身邊. "你 teh 哭! 是按怎 lah?"

"你看我戇戇, 毋過我是去予拄才看著 ê 場面嚇驚著."

"你誠好心! 你叫我按怎好? 我睏袂去, 只好家己小可消遣一下. Koh 講, 像我這種查某, 加一个, 減一个, 有啥無仝? 醫生講, 我喀 ê 是嚨喉 ê 血; 我假鬼相信 in ê 話; 我猶會當按怎 neh?"

"聽我講, Marguerite," 我講, 無法度 koh 掩崁我 ê 感情, "我毋知你對我 ê 性命會有啥物影響, 毋過, 這个時陣我所關心 ê tō 是你 niā-niā, 這超過任何人, 甚至我 ê 親小妹. 自從看著你 tō 是 án-ne ah. Hm, 看天公伯 ê 面子, 好好保重家己, 毋通 koh 過這種生活 lah."

"我 nā 注意我 ê 身體, 我顛倒會死去. 我是靠這種熱狂 ê 生活才活著. 照顧身體干焦對有家庭, 有朋友 ê 查某才有意義; 像阮, nā 無法度予愛人滿足 kap 快樂, in tō 會放捒阮, 予阮歹過日, 拖長暝. 這我攏知. 我破病兩個月, 到第三禮拜 tō 無人 koh 來看我 ah."

"對你來講, 我無算啥, 真 ê," 我繼續講, "毋過, 如果你允准, 我會 ná 兄弟來照顧你, 袂離開你 ê 身邊, 會治好你 ê 病. 等你身體好了, 你 nā 想欲, 你會使 koh 過這陣這種生活; 毋過我確定, 你會較佮意安靜 ê 生活, 彼會予你較歡喜, 予你永遠美麗."

"下暗你 án-ne 想, 因為你啉酒了心酸, 毋過你袂一直有你今講 ê 彼種耐心."

"聽我講, Marguerite, 你過去破病兩個月, 彼兩個月我逐工攏來探問你 ê 病情."

"無毋著, 你 ná 毋上樓來?"

"因為彼時我猶毋捌你."

"對我這款查某你 ná 著歹勢?"

--

Chapter 10 

10.1

The room to which she had fled was lit only by a single candle. She lay back on a great sofa, her dress undone, holding one hand on her heart, and letting the other hang by her side. On the table was a basin half full of water, and the water was stained with streaks of blood. 

Very pale, her mouth half open, Marguerite tried to recover breath. Now and again her bosom was raised by a long sigh, which seemed to relieve her a little, and for a few seconds she would seem to be quite comfortable. 

I went up to her; she made no movement, and I sat down and took the hand which was lying on the sofa. 

"Ah! it is you," she said, with a smile. 

I must have looked greatly agitated, for she added: 

"Are you unwell, too?" 

"No, but you: do you still suffer?" 

"Very little;" and she wiped off with her handkerchief the tears which the coughing had brought to her eyes; "I am used to it now." 

"You are killing yourself, madame," I said to her in a moved voice. "I wish I were a friend, a relation of yours, that I might keep you from doing yourself harm like this." 

"Ah! it is really not worth your while to alarm yourself," she replied in a somewhat bitter tone; "see how much notice the others take of me! They know too well that there is nothing to be done." 

Thereupon she got up, and, taking the candle, put it on the mantel-piece and looked at herself in the glass. 

"How pale I am!" she said, as she fastened her dress and passed her fingers over her loosened hair. "Come, let us go back to supper. Are you coming?" 

I sat still and did not move. 

She saw how deeply I had been affected by the whole scene, and, coming up to me, held out her hand, saying: 

"Come now, let us go."

I took her hand, raised it to my lips, and in spite of myself two tears fell upon it. 

"Why, what a child you are!" she said, sitting down by my side again. "You are crying! What is the matter?" 

"I must seem very silly to you, but I am frightfully troubled by what I have just seen." 

"You are very good! What would you have of me? I can not sleep. I must amuse myself a little. And then, girls like me, what does it matter, one more or less? The doctors tell me that the blood I spit up comes from my throat; I pretend to believe them; it is all I can do for them." 

"Listen, Marguerite," I said, unable to contain myself any longer; "I do not know what influence you are going to have over my life, but at this present moment there is no one, not even my sister, in whom I feel the interest which I feel in you. It has been just the same ever since I saw you. Well, for Heaven's sake, take care of yourself, and do not live as you are living now." 

"If I took care of myself I should die. All that supports me is the feverish life I lead. Then, as for taking care of oneself, that is all very well for women with families and friends; as for us, from the moment we can no longer serve the vanity or the pleasure of our lovers, they leave us, and long nights follow long days. I know it. I was in bed for two months, and after three weeks no one came to see me." 

"It is true I am nothing to you," I went on, "but if you will let me, I will look after you like a brother, I will never leave your side, and I will cure you. Then, when you are strong again, you can go back to the life you are leading, if you choose; but I am sure you will come to prefer a quiet life, which will make you happier and keep your beauty unspoiled." 

"You think like that to-night because the wine has made you sad, but you would never have the patience that you pretend to." 

"Permit me to say, Marguerite, that you were ill for two months, and that for two months I came to ask after you every day." 

"It is true, but why did you not come up?"

"Because I did not know you then."

"Need you have been so particular with a girl like me?"

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