6.3 身體病會壓倒心理病

6.3 Sin-thé pēⁿ ē ah-tó sim-lí pēⁿ

Chi̍t tè pe̍h-sek ê pò͘ khàm tī sí-thé, khòaⁿ ē-chhut sí-thé ê gōa-hêng. Khàm-si-pò͘ ê chi̍t thâu í-keng nōa-khì ah, sí-chiá ê chi̍t ki kha hiàn chhut-lâi.

Góa kiông boeh hūn khì, taⁿ teh siá chiah-ê ê sî, hit ê chêng-kéng ká-ná iáu phû tī góa ê bīn-chêng.

"Kín," tok-chhat kóng. Chū án-ne, kî-tiong chi̍t ê kang-lâng chun chhiú liah-khui khàm-si-pò͘, khiú tio̍h pò͘-thâu thoa-khui, hiàn-chhut Marguerite ê bīn.

Khòaⁿ tio̍h chiok kiaⁿ-lâng, m̄-chai án-chóaⁿ kóng hó. Ba̍k-chiu nōa-kah chhun nn̄g ê khang, bô chhùi-tûn, khang-khang, nn̄g-pâi pe̍h chhùi-khí kā ân-ân. O͘-sek ê thâu-chang tn̂g koh ta, tah tī hia̍h-thâu, se-se khàm tio̍h chheⁿ-sek ê chhùi-phé. M̄-koh ùi chit ê bīn-hêng, góa iáu ē jīn-tit hit ê góa í-chêng chhiâng-chāi khòaⁿ tio̍h ê pe̍h-nih-thàu-âng, chhiong-móa hoaⁿ-hí ê bīn.

Armand ba̍k-chiu sí-sí kim-kim khòaⁿ, chhùi-nih kā tio̍h i khàm phīⁿ ê chhiú-kin-á.

Góa kám-kak ká-ná ū thih-kho͘ pa̍k thâu, ba̍k-chiu ná khàm chi̍t iân se-pò͘, hīⁿ-khang lōng-lōng kiò, kan-ta ē-tàng kā góa tú-hó ū chah lâi ê phang-chúi-koàn the̍h chhut-lâi, ùi hia tōa-la̍t suh-khùi.

Thâu-hîn-ba̍k-àm ê sî, góa thiaⁿ tio̍h tok-chhat mn̄g Duval, "Ū jīn chhut-lâi bô?"

"Ū," siàu-liân--ê kē-siaⁿ kā ìn.

"Khàm--khí-lâi, kā poaⁿ-khui," tok-chhat kóng.

Ku̍t-bōng--ê kā pò͘ khàm tńg sí-thé ê bīn, kā koaⁿ-chhâ kòa só ân, chi̍t lâng kng chi̍t thâu, hiòng chí-tēng ê só͘-chāi poaⁿ khì.

Armand tiām-tiām bô tín-tāng. I ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ khang bōng; bīn-sek pe̍h-kah ná lán tú-chiah khòaⁿ tio̍h ê sí-thé. I khòaⁿ khí-lâi tō ná chhiūⁿ piàn-chò sī chio̍h-thâu.

Góa chai-iáⁿ, chit ê tiûⁿ-bīn ê thòng-khó͘ kiám-khin liáu-āu, i chiong ē kui-ê un-lo̍h. Góa kiâⁿ óa tok-chhat, chhiú pí Armand, mn̄g kóng, "chit ūi sian-siⁿ kám ū su-iàu koh lâu tī chia?"

"M̄-bián," i kǎ kóng, "góa mā kiàn-gī lí kā chhōa cháu. I ká-ná bô chheng-chhái."

"Lán kiâⁿ," góa ná khiú Armand ê chhiú-kó ná kóng.

"Siáⁿ?" i khòaⁿ góa kóng, ká-ná i m̄-bat góa.

"Tāi-chì pān hó-sè ah," góa kóng. "Lí taⁿ ài lī-khui, góa ê pêng-iú; lí bīn hoán pe̍h; kui-sin chheⁿ-léng. Lí siuⁿ kek-tōng, án-ne m̄-hó."

"Hó, lán lâi-khì," i chí-sī án-ne ìn, m̄-koh lóng bô sóa kha-pō͘.

Góa lia̍h i ê chhiú-koh, thoa i kiâⁿ. I tō ná gín-á hông thoa leh kiâⁿ, chí-sī put-sî se̍h-se̍h liām: "Lí ū khòaⁿ tio̍h i ê ba̍k-chiu bô?" i koh oa̍t-thâu, ná-chhiūⁿ i iū-koh khòaⁿ tio̍h Marguerite kāng-khoán.

M̄-koh i ê kha-pō͘ lú kiâⁿ lú loān; i kiâⁿ-lō͘ ê hong-sek ná-chhiūⁿ iōng tiô ê; i ê chhùi-khí khia̍k-khia̍k kiò; i ê siang-chhiú léng-ki-ki, choân-sin phi̍h-phi̍h chùn. Góa kap i kóng-ōe, i bô ìn. I kan-ta ē-hiáu tòe lâng kiâⁿ. Mn̂g-kháu ū chi̍t-chiah bé-chhia teh tán, sî-kan chiâⁿ tú-hó. I tú chē hó, kui-sin tō chhoah-kah lú giâm-tiōng, kui-ê kiù-kin. Chit sî, i kiaⁿ góa khì hō͘ heh tio̍h, tō ân-ân tēⁿ góa ê chhiú, kóng: "Bô siáⁿ, bô siáⁿ, góa kan-ta siūⁿ boeh khàu chhut-lâi."

I ê heng-khám tōa-la̍t chhoán-khùi, ba̍k-chiu khan hoeh-si, m̄-koh bô ba̍k-sái. Góa hō͘ i phīⁿ góa chah ê phang-chúi koàn, tán tńg-kàu in tau ê sî, i iáu sī khu̍h-khu̍h chùn.

I ê iōng-lâng lâi pang góa kā hû chiūⁿ-chhn̂g, hiâⁿ-to̍h pâng-keng hóe-lô͘ ê hóe, góa sûi khì chhōe i-seng, kā kóng tú-chiah hoat-seng ê tāi-chì. I-seng sûi kín-kín tòe góa lâi.

Armand móa bīn âng-âng, sîn-tì put-chheng; chhùi nih se̍h-se̍h liām, thiaⁿ bô i kóng siáⁿ, kan-ta thiaⁿ ū Marguerite chit ê miâ.

"Án-chóaⁿ?" i-seng kiám-cha liáu-āu, góa khui-chhùi mn̄g i.

"Hm, i chí sī hoān tio̍h náu-mo̍͘h-iām, bô kî-thaⁿ ê pēⁿ, che sǹg chin hó-ūn. Tú-khai-sí, góa siūⁿ-kóng i khí-siáu ah (Sîn ah, sià-bián góa!). Hó-ūn ê sī, sin-thé ê pēⁿ ē ah-tó i sim-lí ê pēⁿ, chi̍t kò goe̍h liáu-āu, i tō ē nn̄g chióng pēⁿ lóng hó khí-lâi ah."

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6.3 身體病會壓倒心理病

一塊白色 ê 布崁 tī 死體, 看會出死體 ê 外形. 崁屍布 ê 一頭已經爛去 ah, 死者 ê 一支跤現出來.

我強欲昏去, 今 teh 寫 chiah-ê ê 時, 彼个情境敢若猶浮 tī 我 ê 面前.

"緊," 督察講. 自 án-ne, 其中一个工人伸手 liah 開崁屍布, 搝著布頭拖開, 現出 Marguerite ê 面.

看著足驚人, 毋知按怎講好. 目睭爛甲賰兩个空, 無喙脣, 空空, 兩排白喙齒咬 ân-ân. 烏色 ê 頭鬃長 koh 焦, 貼 tī 額頭, 疏疏崁著青色 ê 喙䫌. 毋過 ùi 這个面形, 我猶會認得彼个我以前常在看著 ê 白 nih 透紅, 充滿歡喜 ê 面.

Armand 目睭死死金金看, 喙 nih 咬著伊崁鼻 ê 手巾仔.

我感覺敢若有鐵箍縛頭, 目睭 ná 崁一沿紗布, 耳空 lōng-lōng 叫, 干焦會當 kā 我拄好有扎來 ê 芳水罐提出來, ùi 遐大力 suh 氣.

頭眩目暗 ê 時, 我聽著督察問 Duval, "有認出來無?"

"有," 少年 ê 低聲 kā 應.

"崁起來, kā 搬開," 督察講.

掘墓 ê kā 布崁轉死體 ê 面, kā 棺柴蓋鎖 ân, 一人扛一頭, 向指定 ê 所在搬去.

Armand 恬恬無振動. 伊目睭看空墓; 面色白甲 ná 咱拄才看著 ê 死體. 伊看起來 tō ná 像變做是石頭.

我知影, 這个場面 ê 痛苦減輕了後, 伊將會規个 un 落. 我行倚督察, 手比 Armand, 問講, "這位先生敢有需要 koh 留 tī 遮?"

"毋免," 伊 kǎ 講, "我 mā 建議你 kā chhōa 走. 伊敢若無清彩."

"咱行," 我 ná 搝 Armand ê 手胳 ná 講.

"啥?" 伊看我講, 敢若伊毋捌我.

"代誌辦好勢 ah," 我講. "你今愛離開, 我 ê 朋友; 你面反白; 規身生冷. 你 siuⁿ 激動, án-ne 毋好."

"好, 咱來去," 伊只是 án-ne 應, 毋過攏無徙跤步.

我掠伊 ê 手胳, 拖伊行. 伊 tō ná 囡仔 hông 拖 leh 行, 只是不時 se̍h-se̍h 念: "你有看著伊 ê 目睭無?" 伊 koh 越頭, ná 像伊又 koh 看著 Marguerite 仝款.

毋過伊 ê 跤步愈行愈亂; 伊行路 ê 方式 ná 像用趒 ê; 伊 ê 喙齒 khia̍k-khia̍k 叫; 伊 ê 雙手冷吱吱, 全身 phi̍h-phi̍h 顫. 我 kap 伊講話, 伊無應. 伊干焦會曉綴人行. 門口有一隻馬車 teh 等, 時間誠拄好. 伊拄坐好, 規身 tō 掣甲愈嚴重, 規个糾筋. 這時, 伊驚我去予嚇著, tō ân-ân 捏我 ê 手, 講: "無啥, 無啥, 我干焦想欲哭出來."

伊 ê 胸坎大力喘氣, 目睭牽血絲, 毋過無目屎. 我予伊鼻我扎 ê 芳水罐, 等轉到 in 兜 ê 時, 伊猶是 khu̍h-khu̍h 顫.

伊 ê 用人來幫我 kā 扶上床, 燃 to̍h 房間火爐 ê 火, 我隨去揣醫生, kā 講拄才發生 ê 代誌. 醫生隨緊緊綴我來.

Armand 滿面紅紅, 神智不清; 喙 nih se̍h-se̍h 念, 聽無伊講啥, 干焦聽有 Marguerite 這个名.

"按怎?" 醫生檢查了後, 我開喙問伊.

"Hm, 伊只是患著腦膜炎, 無其他 ê 病, 這算真好運. 拄開始, 我想講伊起痟 ah (神 ah, 赦免我!). 好運 ê 是, 身體 ê 病會壓倒伊心理 ê 病, 一個月了後, 伊 tō 會兩種病攏好起來 ah."

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6.3

A great white shroud covered the corpse, closely outlining some of its contours. This shroud was almost completely eaten away at one end, and left one of the feet visible. 

I was nearly fainting, and at the moment of writing these lines I see the whole scene over again in all its imposing reality. 

"Quick," said the inspector. Thereupon one of the men put out his hand, began to unsew the shroud, and taking hold of it by one end suddenly laid bare the face of Marguerite. 

It was terrible to see, it is horrible to relate. The eyes were nothing but two holes, the lips had disappeared, vanished, and the white teeth were tightly set. The black hair, long and dry, was pressed tightly about the forehead, and half veiled the green hollows of the cheeks; and yet I recognised in this face the joyous white and rose face that I had seen so often. 

Armand, unable to turn away his eyes, had put the handkerchief to his mouth and bit it. 

For my part, it was as if a circle of iron tightened about my head, a veil covered my eyes, a rumbling filled my ears, and all I could do was to unstop a smelling bottle which I happened to have with me, and to draw in long breaths of it. 

Through this bewilderment I heard the inspector say to Duval, "Do you identify?" 

"Yes," replied the young man in a dull voice. 

"Then fasten it up and take it away," said the inspector. 

The grave-diggers put back the shroud over the face of the corpse, fastened up the coffin, took hold of each end of it, and began to carry it toward the place where they had been told to take it. 

Armand did not move. His eyes were fixed upon the empty grave; he was as white as the corpse which we had just seen. He looked as if he had been turned to stone. 

I saw what was coming as soon as the pain caused by the spectacle should have abated and thus ceased to sustain him. I went up to the inspector. "Is this gentleman's presence still necessary?" I said, pointing to Armand. 

"No," he replied, "and I should advise you to take him away. He looks ill." 

"Come," I said to Armand, taking him by the arm. 

"What?" he said, looking at me as if he did not recognise me. 

"It is all over," I added. "You must come, my friend; you are quite white; you are cold. These emotions will be too much for you." 

"You are right. Let us go," he answered mechanically, but without moving a step. 

I took him by the arm and led him along. He let himself be guided like a child, only from time to time murmuring, "Did you see her s?" and he turned as if the vision had recalled her. 

Nevertheless, his steps became more irregular; he seemed to walk by a series of jerks; his teeth chattered; his hands were cold; a violent agitation ran through his body. I spoke to him; he did not answer. He was just able to let himself be led along. A cab was waiting at the gate. It was only just in time. Scarcely had he seated himself, when the shivering became more violent, and he had an actual attack of nerves, in the midst of which his fear of frightening me made him press my hand and whisper: "It is nothing, nothing. I want to weep." 

His chest laboured, his eyes were injected with blood, but no tears came. I made him smell the salts which I had with me, and when we reached his house only the shivering remained. 

With the help of his servant I put him to bed, lit a big fire in his room, and hurried off to my doctor, to whom I told all that had happened. He hastened with me. 

Armand was flushed and delirious; he stammered out disconnected words, in which only the name of Marguerite could be distinctly heard. 

"Well?" I said to the doctor when he had examined the patient. 

"Well, he has neither more nor less than brain fever, and very lucky it is for him, for I firmly believe (God forgive me!) that he would have gone out of his mind. Fortunately, the physical malady will kill the mental one, and in a month's time he will be free from the one and perhaps from the other." 

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