4.4 Góa chin-chiàⁿ tông-chêng chit ê siàu-liân
Chòe-āu hit kúi jī siá-kah chin ló-chhó. Góa kā phe
hêng hō͘ Armand, góa teh tha̍k phe ê sî, i tiāⁿ-tio̍h mā tī sim nih koh tha̍k
chi̍t-piàn, in-ūi i chiap phe ê sî kóng:
"Che kám sī hông pau-chhī ê cha-bó͘ ē-hiáu siá
ê?" Hām tī kì-tî nih, i kim-kim koh khòaⁿ phe nih ê jī, koh kā phe the̍h
khì chhùi-tûn chim chi̍t-ē.
"Góa koh siūⁿ," i kè-sio̍k kóng,
"góa bē-tit tī i sí chìn-chêng koh kìⁿ i, mā éng-oán bô hoat-tō͘ koh khòaⁿ
tio̍h i ah, góa nā siūⁿ tio̍h i tùi góa pí chhin chí-mōe koh-khah hó, góa tō
bē-tàng goân-liōng ka-tī, ná ē lī-khui i, hō͘ i án-ne sí khì. Sí ah! Sí ah! Sí
chìn-chêng i it-ti̍t siūⁿ góa, siá phe, koh liām góa ê miâ, khó-liân ê chhin-ài
ê Marguerite!"
Armand kóng chhut i ê siūⁿ-hoat, ba̍k-sái lâu,
ba̍k-sái tih, chhun chhiú hō͘ góa, koh kóng:
"Lâng khòaⁿ góa ūi tio̍h chit-khoán cha-bó͘ ê
sí chiah-nī siong-sim, khó-lêng ē kóng góa gōng; bô lâng chai góa hāi hit-ê
ko͘-niû gōa thiám, góa tùi i gōa chân-jím! i sī gōa hó, gōa un-jiû! Góa
pún-chiâⁿ siūⁿ kóng sī góa ài goân-liōng i, taⁿ góa chai, i hō͘ góa ê goân-liōng
sī m̄-ta̍t ê. Oh, góa kam-goān kiám oa̍h cha̍p nî, lâi tī i ê kha piⁿ khàu
chi̍t tiám-cheng!"
Boeh an-ùi lán m̄-chai ê thòng-khó͘ sī chin
khùn-lân, m̄-koh góa chin-chiàⁿ tông-chêng chit-ê siàu-liân, i hiah-nī
sêng-khún kă kóng chhut i ê pi-ai, góa ê ōe i èng-tong thiaⁿ ē loeh, góa tō kā
kóng:
"Lí ū pē-bú a̍h-sī pêng-iú bô? Khòaⁿ khah khui
leh. Khì chhōe in; in ē an-ùi lí. Góa kan-ta ē-tàng tông-chêng lí."
"Tio̍h ah," i khiā khí-lâi, ná tī pâng-keng
nih kiâⁿ-lâi kiâⁿ-khì, ná kóng, "Pháiⁿ-sè, góa táⁿ-jiáu tio̍h lí ah, góa
bô khó-lī tio̍h, góa ê thòng-khó͘ bô lí ê tāi-chì, góa kóng chiah-ê, lí bô
khó-lêng, mā put-eng-kai ū chhù-bī."
"Lí gō͘-hōe góa ê ì-sù lah. Góa chin lo̍k-ì
pang-bâng lí; chí-sī góa bô hoat-tō͘ kiám-khin lí ê thòng-khó͘. Góa a̍h-sī góa
ê pêng-iú nā ē-tàng kiám-khin lí ê khó͘-náu, a̍h-sī lí ū siáⁿ-mih su-iàu góa
jīm-hô ê pang-bâng, góa hi-bāng lí chai-iáⁿ, góa lóng chin lo̍k-ì ūi lí
hāu-lô."
"Chhiáⁿ goân-liōng góa," i kóng;
"Thòng-khó͘ hō͘ lâng sîn-keng kòe-bín. Hō͘ góa koh lâu kúi hun-cheng,
chhit ta góa ê ba̍k-chiu, bián-tit gōa-kháu ê lâng kám-kak hòⁿ-kî, chit-ê
tōa-lâng ná ē khàu. Góa chin kám-siā lí kā chheh sàng góa. Góa m̄-chai án-chóaⁿ
tùi lí piáu-sī góa ê kám-kek."
"Hō͘ góa chi̍t tiám-á iú-chêng tō ē-sái,"
góa kóng, "koh kă kóng lí sī án-chóaⁿ ē hiah-nī siong-sim. Kan-khó͘ ê
tāi-chì kóng-liáu tō khah khin-sang ah."
"Lí kóng liáu bô m̄-tio̍h. M̄-koh góa
kin-á-ji̍t chin ài-khàu; bô hoat-tō͘ koh kóng ah. Chi̍t kang, góa ē kui-ê kā lí
kóng, lí tō chai góa ūi chit-ê ko͘-niû siong-sim sī-m̄-sī ū tō-lí.
Chit-chūn," i ná kóng, ná jôe ba̍k-chiu, koh khòaⁿ kiàⁿ, "hi-bāng lí
bô kă tòng-chò gōng, pa̍t-ji̍t góa chiah koh lâi pài-hóng lí."
I iōng iu-ngá koh iú-siān ê ba̍k-sek khòaⁿ góa. Góa
hiám-á tō khì siâm i. Chit-sî, i ê ba̍k-chiu iū kâm ba̍k-sái; i chai góa ū
khòaⁿ tio̍h, tō kā thâu oa̍t khui.
"Hó lah," góa kóng, "ài
ióng-kám,"
"Chài-hōe," i kóng.
Án-ne, jīn-chin kā ba̍k-sái jím leh, i sûi kín-kín
chông-chhut pâng-keng.
Góa hian-khui thang-á-lî, khòaⁿ tio̍h i peh-chiūⁿ
tán tī mn̂g-kháu ê khin-pian siang-lián bé-chhia; bōe chē hó, i ê ba̍k-sái tō
piàⁿ chhut-lâi ah, i sûi kín iōng chhiú-kin-á am-bīn.
--
4.4
最後彼幾字寫甲真潦草. 我 kā 批還予 Armand, 我 teh 讀批 ê 時, 伊定著 mā tī 心 nih koh 讀一遍, 因為伊接批 ê 時講:
"這敢是趁食查某會曉寫 ê?" 陷 tī 記持 nih, 伊金金 koh 看批 nih ê 字, koh kā 批提去喙脣唚一下.
"我 koh 想,"
伊繼續講, "我袂得 tī 伊死進前 koh 見伊, mā 永遠無法度 koh 看著伊 ah, 我 nā 想著伊對我比親姊妹 koh 較好, 我 tō 袂當原諒家己, ná 會離開伊, 予伊 án-ne 死去. 死 ah! 死 ah! 死進前伊一直想我, 寫批, koh 唸我 ê 名, 可憐 ê 親愛 ê Marguerite!"
Armand 講出伊 ê 想法, 目屎流, 目屎滴, 伸手予我, koh 講:
"人看我為著這款查某 ê 死 chiah-nī 傷心, 可能會講我戇; 無人知我害彼个姑娘偌 thiám, 我對伊偌殘忍! 伊是偌好, 偌溫柔! 我本成想講是我愛原諒伊, 今我知, 伊予我 ê 原諒是毋值 ê. Oh, 我甘願減活十年, 來 tī 伊 ê 跤邊哭一點鐘!"
欲安慰咱毋知 ê 痛苦是真困難, 毋過我真正同情這个少年, 伊 hiah-nī 誠懇 kă 講出伊 ê 悲哀, 我 ê 話伊應當聽會 loeh, 我 tō kā 講:
"你有爸母抑是朋友無? 看較開 leh. 去揣 in; in 會安慰你. 我干焦會當同情你."
"著
ah," 伊徛起來, ná tī 房間 nih 行來行去, ná 講,
"歹勢, 我打擾著你 ah, 我無考慮著, 我 ê 痛苦無你 ê 代誌, 我講 chiah-ê, 你無可能, mā 不應該有趣味."
"你誤會我 ê 意思 lah. 我真樂意幫忙你; 只是我無法度減輕你 ê 痛苦. 我抑是我 ê 朋友 nā 會當減輕你 ê 苦惱, 抑是你有啥物需要我任何 ê 幫忙, 我希望你知影, 我攏真樂意為你效勞."
"請原諒我," 伊講; "痛苦予人神經過敏. 予我 koh 留幾分鐘, 拭焦我 ê 目睭, 免得外口 ê 人感覺好奇, 這个大人 ná 會哭. 我真感謝你 kā 冊送我. 我毋知按怎對你表示我 ê 感激."
"予我一點仔友情 tō 會使," 我講, "koh kă 講你是按怎會 hiah-nī 傷心. 艱苦 ê 代誌講了 tō 較輕鬆 ah."
"你講了無毋著. 毋過我今仔日真愛哭; 無法度 koh 講 ah. 一工, 我會規个 kā 你講, 你 tō 知我為這个姑娘傷心是毋是有道理. 這陣," 伊 ná 講, ná
jôe 目睭, koh 看鏡, "希望你無 kă 當做戇, 別日我才 koh 來拜訪你."
伊用優雅 koh 友善 ê 目色看我. 我險仔 tō 去 siâm 伊. 這時, 伊 ê 目睭又含目屎; 伊知我有看著, tō kā 頭越開.
"好
lah," 我講, "愛勇敢,"
"再會," 伊講.
Án-ne, 認真 kā 目屎忍 leh, 伊隨緊緊 chông 出房間.
我掀開窗仔簾, 看著伊 peh 上等 tī 門口 ê 輕便雙輪馬車; 未坐好, 伊 ê 目屎 tō 拚出來 ah, 伊隨緊用手巾仔掩面.
--
4.4
The last two words were scarcely legible. I returned the letter to Armand, who had, no doubt, read it over again in his mind while I was reading it on paper, for he said to me as he took it:
"Who would think that a kept woman could have written that?" And, overcome by recollections, he gazed for some time at the writing of the letter, which he finally carried to his lips.
"And when I think," he went on, "that she died before I could see her, and that I shall never see her again, when I think that she did for me what no sister would ever have done, I can not forgive myself for having left her to die like that. Dead! Dead and thinking of me, writing and repeating my name, poor dear Marguerite!"
And Armand, giving free outlet to his thoughts and his tears, held out his hand to me, and continued:
"People would think it childish enough if they saw me lament like this over a dead woman such as she; no one will ever know what I made that woman suffer, how cruel I have been to her! how good, how resigned she was! I thought it was I who had to forgive her, and to-day I feel unworthy of the forgiveness which she grants me. Oh, I would give ten years of my life to weep at her feet for an hour!"
It is always difficult to console a sorrow that is unknown to one, and nevertheless I felt so lively a sympathy for the young man, he made me so frankly the confidant of his distress, that I believed a word from me would not be indifferent to him, and I said:
"Have you no parents, no friends? Hope. Go and see them; they will console you. As for me, I can only pity you."
"It is true," he said, rising and walking to and fro in the room, "I am wearying you. Pardon me, I did not reflect how little my sorrow must mean to you, and that I am intruding upon you something which can not and ought not to interest you at all."
"You mistake my meaning. I am entirely at your service; only I regret my inability to calm your distress. If my society and that of my friends can give you any distraction, if, in short, you have need of me, no matter in what way, I hope you will realize how much pleasure it will give me to do anything for you."
"Pardon, pardon," said he; "sorrow sharpens the sensations. Let me stay here for a few minutes longer, long enough to dry my eyes, so that the idlers in the street may not look upon it as a curiosity to see a big fellow like me crying. You have made me very happy by giving me this book. I do not know how I can ever express my gratitude to you."
"By giving me a little of your friendship," said I, "and by telling me the cause of your suffering. One feels better while telling what one suffers."
"You are right. But to-day I have too much need of tears; I can not very well talk. One day I will tell you the whole story, and you will see if I have reason for regretting the poor girl. And now," he added, rubbing his eyes for the last time, and looking at himself in the glass, "say that you do not think me too absolutely idiotic, and allow me to come back and see you another time."
He cast on me a gentle and amiable look. I was near embracing him. As for him, his eyes again began to fill with tears; he saw that I perceived it and turned away his head.
"Come," I said, "courage."
"Good-bye," he said.
And, making a desperate effort to restrain his tears, he rushed rather than went out of the room.
I lifted the curtain of my window, and saw him get into the cabriolet which awaited him at the door; but scarcely was he seated before he burst into tears and hid his face in his pocket-handkerchief.
--
No comments:
Post a Comment