26.5 攏結束 ah-lah

26.5 Lóng kiat-sok ah-lah

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2 goe̍h 19, pòaⁿ-mê.

Kin-á-ji̍t ū-kàu pi-chhám, khó-liân ê Armand Ss! Chá-khí, Marguerite chhoán bô-khùi; i-seng kā pàng-hoeh, i koh sió-khóa ū siaⁿ lah. I-seng kiò i chhiáⁿ chi̍t-ê bo̍k-su lâi. I kóng "Hó," i-seng tō ka-tī khì Saint Roch kàu-tn̂g chhiáⁿ bo̍k-su.

Chit sî, Marguerite kiò góa kàu i ê chhn̂g-piⁿ, kiò góa phah-khui saⁿ-kūi, i kéng chi̍t téng bō-á kap chi̍t niá ū hoe-piⁿ ê siatchuh, khin-siaⁿ kă kóng:

"Chhàm-hóe liáu, góa tio̍h boeh sí ah. Lí thè góa chhēng chiah-ê; che sī chi̍t ê boeh sí ê cha-bó͘ ê sîn-kî siūⁿ-hoat."

Án-ne liáu, i ná lâu ba̍k-sái ná siâm góa, kóng:

"Góa ē kóng-ōe, m̄-koh nā kóng-ōe góa tō chhoán bô-khùi; góa bô-khùi. Khùi!"

Góa tōa-khàu, kā thang-á phah khui, kòe kúi hun-cheng, bo̍k-su lâi ah. Góa kiâⁿ kàu i bīn-chêng; tán i chai chia sī tó-ūi, i ká-ná chin kiaⁿ bô lâng hó-hó chiap-thāi i."

"Kín lâi chia, bo̍k-su," góa kā kóng.

I tī pâng-keng thêng-khùn bô kú, chhut-khì ê sî, i kă kóng:

"I oa̍h tio̍h ê sî sī chōe-jîn, sí tō ē-sī Ki-tok-tô͘."

Kúi hun-cheng liáu-āu, i hām chi̍t ê chhiú gia̍h si̍p-jī-kè ê chhiùⁿ-si-pan cha-po͘ gín-á tńg-lâi, thâu-chêng ū chi̍t ê kàu-tn̂g su-sū (sacristan), chhiú iô giang-á, piáu-sī îm-sí-chiá chia ū Sîn boeh lâi.

In saⁿ ê chìn-ji̍p pâng-keng, thiaⁿ bô in chhùi nih teh liām siáⁿ, chóng-sī taⁿ chia sī chi̍t ê sèng-tôaⁿ.

Góa kūi tio̍h. Góa m̄-chai, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h ê ìn-siōng ē pó-chhî gōa kú, m̄-koh kàu taⁿ tú-tio̍h góa chiah chai, sè-kan-sū ē hō͘ góa chiah-nī chhim ê ìn-siōng.

 Bo̍k-su tī lîm-sí-chiá ê kha, chhiú, kap hia̍h-thâu boah iû, liām chi̍t tōaⁿ keng-bûn, Marguerite í-keng chún-pī hó boeh khì thian-têng, Sîn nā khòaⁿ tio̍h i seng-oa̍h ê khó͘-lān kap i sí sî ê sèng-kiat, góa siong-sìn, i tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē chiūⁿ thian-têng.

Án-ne liáu, i lóng bô koh kóng-ōe, mā bô tín-tāng. Nā m̄-sī thiaⁿ tio̍h i teh kan-khó͘ chhoán-khùi, góa it-tēng siūⁿ-kóng i í-keng sí ah.

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2 goe̍h 20, ē-po͘ 5 tiám.

Lóng kiat-sok ah-lah.

Marguerite tāi-khài pòaⁿ-mê nn̄g tiám ê sî tiām-khì. M̄-bat ū-lâng boeh sí chhiūⁿ i siū hiah chē khó͘, ùi i ê haiⁿ-siaⁿ tō ē-tàng phòaⁿ-toàn. Ū nn̄g-saⁿ kái i chē-thêng, ká-ná boeh khiú tiâu tng boeh seng-thiⁿ hiòng Sîn ê sèⁿ-miā.

I mā ū nn̄g-saⁿ kái kiò lí ê miâ; koh-lâi i tō tiām-tiām, tó lo̍h tī bîn-chhn̂g bô khùi-la̍t. Ba̍k-chiu tiām-tiām lâu ba̍k-sái, i sí khì ah.

Góa pàng-siaⁿ tōa-khàu; góa kiò i, i bô hoán-èng, góa tō kā i ê ba̍k-chiu loa̍h lo̍h-lâi, chim i ê hia̍h-thâu.

Khó-liân góa chhin-ài ê Marguerite, góa hi-bāng góa sī sèng-kiat ê cha-bó͘, góa ê chim ē pang-chān lí khì kìⁿ Sîn.

Koh-lâi, góa chiàu i ê ì-sù, thè i chhēng-saⁿ. Góa khì Saint Roch kàu-tn̂g, chhōe chi̍t ê bo̍k-su, tī hia thè Marguerite tiám nn̄g ki la̍h-chek, koh kî-tó chi̍t tiám-cheng.

Góa kā i ê chhiú-bóe chîⁿ sàng hō͘ kan-khó͘-lâng.

Chong-kàu ê tāi-chì góa bat bô chē, m̄-koh góa siūⁿ, Sîn chai-iáⁿ góa ê ba̍k-sái sī chin-sim, góa ê kî-tó sī khiân-sêng, góa ê kià-hù sī sêng-ì, Sîn ē khó-liân chit ê chá-sí ê súi cha-bó͘, i kan-ta ū góa chit ê pêng-iú thè i kheh ba̍k-chiu, thè i moa siū-kin.

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2 goe̍h 22.

Kin-á-jit chhut-soaⁿ. Chin chē Marguerite ê pêng-iú lâi kàu-tn̂g. In ū-ê khàu kah chin sêng-sim. Koaⁿ-chhâ khai-sí hiòng Montmartre bōng-hn̂g chhut-hoat ê sî, kan-ta ū nn̄g ê cha-po͘-lâng tòe leh kiâⁿ: G pek-chiok, i te̍k-pia̍t ùi London tńg-lâi, kap kong-chiok, i iû nn̄g ê sin-lô hû tio̍h.

Góa siá chiah-ê sè-chiat sī tī in tau, ná siá ná lâu ba̍k-sái, siong-sim ê teng-kng hun-hun àm-àm, piⁿ-á khǹg chi̍t hūn àm-tǹg, he góa chia̍h bē-lo̍h, lí mā siūⁿ ē-kàu, m̄-koh in-ūi 24 tiám-cheng lóng bô chia̍h ah, he sī Nanine thè góa chhoân ê.

Chiah-ê siong-sim ê ōe-bīn bô hoat-tō͘ éng-oán lâu tī góa ê kì-tî, in-ūi góa ê sèⁿ-miā m̄-sī góa ê, tō nā Marguerite ê m̄-sī i ê kāng-khoán; só͘-tì, góa tī tāi-chì hoat-seng ê sî tō kā sè-chiat siá lo̍h-lâi, in-ūi góa khiong-kiaⁿ sî-kan nā thoa tn̂g, tán lí tńg-lâi, góa khó-lêng bô hoat-tō͘ chún-khak kā lí kóng chhut chit-chióng pi-ai ê chōng-hóng.

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26.5 攏結束 ah-lah

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2 月 19, 半暝.

今仔日有夠悲慘, 可憐 ê Armand Ss! 早起, Marguerite 喘無氣; 醫生 kā 放血, 伊 koh 小可有聲 lah. 醫生叫伊請一个牧師來. 伊講 "好," 醫生 tō 家己去 Saint Roch 教堂請牧師.

這時, Marguerite 叫我到伊 ê 床邊, 叫我拍開衫櫃, 伊揀一頂帽仔 kap 一領有花邊 ê siatchuh, 輕聲 kă 講:

"懺悔了, 我著欲死 ah. 你替我穿 chiah-ê; 這是一个欲死 ê 查某 ê 神奇想法."

Án-ne 了, 伊 ná 流目屎 ná siâm 我, 講:

"我會講話, 毋過 nā 講話我 tō 喘無氣; 我無氣. 氣!"

我大哭, kā 窗仔拍開, 過幾分鐘, 牧師來 ah. 我行到伊面前; 等伊知遮是佗位, 伊敢若真驚無人好好接待伊."

"緊來遮, 牧師," 我 kā 講.

伊 tī 房間停睏無久, 出去 ê 時, 伊 kă 講:

"伊活著 ê 時是罪人, 死 tō 會是基督徒."

幾分鐘了後, 伊和一个手攑十字架 ê 唱詩班查埔囡仔轉來, 頭前有一个教堂司士 (sacristan), 手搖 giang 仔, 表示臨死者遮有神欲來.

In 三个進入房間, 聽無 in 喙 nih teh 念啥, 總是今遮是一个聖壇.

我跪著. 我毋知, 我看著 ê 印象會保持偌久, 毋過到今拄著我才知, 世間事會予我 chiah-nī 深 ê 印象.

 牧師 tī 臨死者 ê 跤, 手, kap 額頭抹油, 念一段經文, Marguerite 已經準備好欲去天庭, 神 nā 看著伊生活 ê 苦難 kap 伊死時 ê 聖潔, 我相信, 伊定著會上天庭.

Án-ne 了, 伊攏無 koh 講話, mā 無振動. Nā 毋是聽著伊 teh 艱苦喘氣, 我一定想講伊已經死 ah.

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2 月 20, 下晡 5 點.

攏結束 ah-lah.

Marguerite 大概半暝兩點 ê 時恬去. M̄-bat 有人欲死像伊受 hiah 濟苦, ùi 伊 ê 哼聲 tō 會當判斷. 有兩三改伊坐 thêng, 敢若欲搝牢當欲升天向神 ê 性命.

伊 mā 有兩三改叫你 ê 名; 閣來伊 tō 恬恬, 倒落 tī 眠床無氣力. 目睭恬恬流目屎, 伊死去 ah.

我放聲大哭; 我叫伊, 伊無反應, 我 tō kā 伊 ê 目睭捋落來, 唚伊 ê 額頭.

可憐我親愛 ê Marguerite, 我希望我是聖潔 ê 查某, 我 ê 唚會幫贊你去見神.

閣來, 我照伊 ê 意思, 替伊穿衫. 我去 Saint Roch 教堂, 揣一个牧師, tī 遐替 Marguerite 點兩支蠟燭, koh 祈禱一點鐘.

我 kā 伊 ê 手尾錢送予艱苦人.

宗教 ê 代誌我捌無濟, 毋過我想, 神知影我 ê 目屎是真心, 我 ê 祈禱是虔誠, 我 ê 寄付是誠意, 神會可憐這个早死 ê 媠查某, 伊干焦有我這个朋友替伊瞌目睭, 替伊幔壽巾.

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2 月 22.

今仔日出山. 真濟 Marguerite ê 朋友來教堂. In有 ê 哭甲真誠心. 棺柴開始向 Montmartre 墓園出發 ê 時, 干焦有兩个查埔人綴 leh 行: G 伯爵, 伊特別 ùi London 轉來, kap 公爵, 伊由兩 ê 辛勞扶著.

我寫 chiah-ê 細節是 tī in 兜, ná 寫 ná 流目屎, 傷心 ê 燈光昏昏暗暗, 邊仔囥一份暗頓, 彼我食袂落, 你 mā 想會到, 毋過因為 24 點鐘攏無食 ah, 彼是 Nanine 替我攢 ê.

Chiah-ê 傷心 ê 畫面無法度永遠留 tī 我 ê 記持, 因為我 ê 性命毋是我 ê, tō nā Marguerite ê 毋是伊 ê 仝款; 所致, 我 tī 代誌發生 ê 時 tō kā 細節寫落來, 因為我恐驚時間 nā 拖長, 等你轉來, 我可能無法度準確 kā 你講出這種悲哀 ê 狀況.

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26.5

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February 19, midnight. 

What a sad day we have had to-day, poor M. Armand! This morning Marguerite was stifling; the doctor bled her, and her voice has returned to her a while. The doctor begged her to see a priest. She said "Yes," and he went himself to fetch an abbe' from Saint Roch. 

Meanwhile Marguerite called me up to her bed, asked me to open a cupboard, and pointed out a cap and a long chemise covered with lace, and said in a feeble voice: 

"I shall die as soon as I have confessed. Then you will dress me in these things; it is the whim of a dying woman." 

Then she embraced me with tears and added:

"I can speak, but I am stifled when I speak; I am stifling. Air!" 

I burst into tears, opened the window, and a few minutes afterward the priest entered. I went up to him; when he knew where he was, he seemed afraid of being badly received. 

"Come in boldly, father," I said to him. 

He stayed a very short time in the room, and when he came out he said to me: 

"She lived a sinner, and she will die a Christian." 

A few minutes afterward he returned with a choir boy bearing a crucifix, and a sacristan who went before them ringing the bell to announce that God was coming to the dying one. 

They went all three into the bed-room where so many strange words have been said, but was now a sort of holy tabernacle. 

I fell on my knees. I do not know how long the impression of what I saw will last, but I do not think that, till my turn comes, any human thing can make so deep an impression on me. 

The priest anointed with holy oil the feet and hands and forehead of the dying woman, repeated a short prayer, and Marguerite was ready to set out for the heaven to which I doubt not she will go, if God has seen the ordeal of her life and the sanctity of her death. 

Since then she has not said a word or made a movement. Twenty times I should have thought her dead if I had not heard her breathing painfully. 

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February 20, 5 P.M. 

All is over. 

Marguerite fell into her last agony at about two o'clock. Never did a martyr suffer such torture, to judge by the cries she uttered. Two or three times she sat upright in the bed, as if she would hold on to her life, which was escaping toward God. 

Two or three times also she said your name; then all was silent, and she fell back on the bed exhausted. Silent tears flowed from her eyes, and she was dead. 

Then I went up to her; I called her, and as she did not answer I closed her eyes and kissed her on the forehead. 

Poor, dear Marguerite, I wish I were a holy woman that my kiss might recommend you to God. 

Then I dressed her as she had asked me to do. I went to find a priest at Saint Roch, I burned two candles for her, and I prayed in the church for an hour.

I gave the money she left to the poor. 

I do not know much about religion, but I think that God will know that my tears were genuine, my prayers fervent, my alms-giving sincere, and that he will have pity on her who, dying young and beautiful, has only had me to close her eyes and put her in her shroud. 

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February 22. 

The burial took place to-day. Many of Marguerite's friends came to the church. Some of them wept with sincerity. When the funeral started on the way to Montmartre only two men followed it: the Comte de G., who came from London on purpose, and the duke, who was supported by two footmen. 

I write you these details from her house, in the midst of my tears and under the lamp which burns sadly beside a dinner which I can not touch, as you can imagine, but which Nanine has got for me, for I have eaten nothing for twenty-four hours. 

My life can not retain these sad impressions for long, for my life is not my own any more than Marguerite's was hers; that is why I give you all these details on the very spot where they occurred, in the fear, if a long time elapsed between them and your return, that I might not be able to give them to you with all their melancholy exactitude. 

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